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Shire: Beginnings  by Lindelea 4 Review(s)
InklingReviewed Chapter: 22 on 2/13/2005
Whew! Thank goodness they’re safe at last…not sure I could have taken much more sadness. The poor hobbits…out of the frying pan into the fire indeed! The men are, if anything, more loathsome than the orcs.

I greatly enjoyed the eagle family, especially the mother’s concern with food safety: “Throw it out!” LOL!

It was nice to see Radagast; he doesn't show up too often in fanfic (with the notable exception of jodancingtree's stories).

Am wondering about “There was another evil that had not yet been made clear to him.” Is this the Necromancer, and is he pursuing the hobbits? Wasn’t there something you said earlier about the orcs: “more than hunger and rage burned in their eyes”…


Author Reply: Well, we know that the Crossing was shrouded in the mists of history, and know that hobbits were fleeing what was happening after the Necromancer took up residence in southern Mirkwood, and that Arnor had broken into three kingdoms, one of which was overcome by evil, one of which was wiped out by the former, and the other which lasted for some time before being overcome. So it would stand to reason that it would take a lot to pry such a people from their settled ways.

I was hoping the eagles didn't read too "hobbity", but the eagles in The Hobbit didn't seem all that lofty to me.

Jodancing tree tops my list of favourite authors. I'm probably heavily influenced by her writing, the first fanfic I ever read!

Yes, in answer to your question about "another evil": the Dark Power may have got wind of the fact that the little folk were a part of the Song, perhaps even a part of his anticipated downfall... In any event, he probably figured they were taken care of... or perhaps when Thorn fell, and the direct link to the Valar was broken (Thorn was the last to hear the Lady's voice clearly), he lost interest in them. Thankfully!

Thanks so much for the review. I was feeling quite unmotivated, what with being unable to post any new chapters this week, and thus no reviews to grease the writing wheels.

DreamflowerReviewed Chapter: 22 on 10/1/2004
YES!!

VefinielReviewed Chapter: 22 on 1/28/2004
The timeline on this last section of chapters - with Pick with the wizards, and Blackthorn as the new Thorn - strikes me as being rather odd. It seems as if only a very short time has passed in the Pick chapters, but a great many months has passed in the other section.

Other than that oddity, this story is living up to it's promise very nicely. I really like the way you've had the hobbits give Gandalf his name, even if I don't think it very likely that that is where it came from it is still a nice idea. I also like that you've had Gandalf pick up smoking from the hobbits at this time, and that does seem likely (I think that might be a later chapter, but I've read farther than this and just gone backwards to review due to the oddity that I noticed).

Author Reply: Perhaps I will have to add more time clues.

In the timeline for the story (doing this from memory, might make a small error or two), Pick falls from the mountain three days before Thorn's fight to the death. He passes those three days hiding under/behind a pile of game in the eagle's nest. When the blizzard blows itself out for the Fallohides, it is also that first clear day when Pick looks out of the nest into the shadowy valleys.

While Thorn and the rest of the hunters are running back to intercept the orcs, and during the battle (which took some time, perhaps it is written as too abrupt and I may have to throw in more time clues, such as the sun moving across the sky), the rest of the Fallohides are "high-tailing it" down the trail to the trees, where they take refuge that night. When no orcs come, they descend from the trees in the morning and start the search for Imladris, which is "on the way" to Rhudaur when I look at the map in "Atlas". They search, but cannot find the valley. It might take them several days to reach the Ford and cross over, looking for woodland. They find the forest quickly--but it is in Rhudaur. Blackthorn divides the People into manageable groups and they find shelter in a series of brambles. They are here for less than a week before Elladan discovers them, but long enough for several of the hidden groups to be found and slaughtered by hunters of Rhudaur.

Meantime, just after Thorn dies, Pick is taken up by the father eagle and the eagles discover he is a "speaking creature". The eagle takes him to Gandalf (eagles have very keen eyes, I'm thankful to say, but who knows how long he circled before he saw the wizards? Certainly they heard only a few cries, but that doesn't mean the eagle was flying only a short time. Once more, perhaps the story needs more time clues).

When dropped off, Pick is in very bad shape. The wizards may have nursed him for some time (have to look at the timeline, I didn't drop any time references in this section because I had misplaced the timeline and didn't want to recreate it at the time; was in a writing mood and those are not to be taken for granted!) before Gandalf went off "looking for trouble". And I'm not sure how long he was gone on his scouting trip. Could expand it to allow for passage of more time.

Remember that the Fallohides travelled for weeks, climbing into the mountains, and making the crossing. (Now, this might not be clear in the story, though looking at the map or reading the journey in The Hobbit such a duration makes sense. I might have to put in some sort of reference to "days and days".) They were only a day's journey from coming out of the mountains again when the orcs caught up with them. It would have taken Gandalf and Pick some time to reach the battle pass, even mounted on a swift stag. Again, perhaps I wrote too carelessly and need to flesh out this section a bit.

Your comments have given me food for thought. Thanks!



Author Reply: p.s. I forgot to mention that they begin the crossing of the mountains in early summer, I think, and the action with Pick falling and the battle with the orcs takes place in late summer/early autumn (the snowstorm that buries the bodies is the first storm of winter, effectively closing the high pass to travellers, so it probably takes place mid-to-late September or early October. The People are in Rhudaur for only a short time in autumn before Elladan finds them.

eilujReviewed Chapter: 22 on 1/1/2004
What a lovely New Year's present! Thank you!

Author Reply: You're welcome!

(What a lovely New Year's present indeed. I do love to hear comments!)

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