Chapter 31. From One Heart to Another

 ‘A fine lass,’ Diamond said. ‘Strong, for all she came earlier than she was supposed to.’

The hobbits gathered in the corridor made a pleased jumble of noise. Meadowsweet smiled widely from the circle of Tolly’s arm as Haldi said, ‘Ferdi was there? I thought Mardi brought him a sleeping draught!’

 ‘Aye, and he drank nearly the half of it,’ Diamond said wryly. ‘The other half went into the chamber pot when Nell’s back was turned.’ The assembled hobbits laughed, though quite a few shook their heads. They were surprised to hear Ferdi had taken any at all, knowing how he avoided healers and their potions like the plague.

 ‘Come, Sweetie,’ Tolly said now, giving his wife a little tug. ‘It was a long ride, and I’m that ravenous.’

 ‘Rusty probably has the table laid already,’ Meadowsweet said. She looked to Diamond. ‘Go and put your feet up, Mistress! You’ve your own babe to be cosseting.’

 ‘Don’t you worry,’ Diamond said. ‘I haven’t felt so well in days.’ Nevertheless, she turned back to the Thain’s private quarters. There was still some business to take care of.

She found Pippin and Farry sitting together, talking quietly. Pippin stood at her entrance, their son hastily rising in imitation of his father; both waited for Diamond to seat herself before resuming their seats. Pippin put one of his arms about his son, pulling him close.

 ‘Well now,’ Diamond said, looking from one to the other. ‘What was this all about?’

 ‘It was my fault,’ Farry said, setting his chin. ‘I ran away.’

 ‘You ran away,’ Diamond echoed. Lads had been known to play a game of “run away” before: grab a bag of bread-and-cheese and steal out of the Smials, creeping back as soon as night began to cast its shadows over the land.

 ‘He really did, my love, no child’s game,’ Pippin said soberly. ‘He was more than halfway to Buckland when Ferdi caught up with him.’

 ‘Halfway to Buckland!’ Diamond gasped, thinking of foxes and stoats and stray dogs. ‘Were you thinking to show up at Brandy Hall, to surprise your father after being left home?’

 ‘I was going to Gondor,’ Farry said, swallowing hard.

 ‘Gondor,’ Diamond whispered. ‘O Farry.’ She looked to her husband. ‘What sort of tales have you been filling his head with?’

 ‘It was all my fault,’ Faramir persisted. ‘My idea.’ To his surprise, his father spoke up, firmly overriding his words.

 ‘No, Faramir,’ Pippin said. ‘It was not all your fault. A great deal of the fault lies with your father and your mother.’ He reached out to Diamond, taking her hand. ‘We’ve been so wrapped up in our misery we’ve hardly had a civil word for you in two years.’

Diamond’s eyes flooded with tears and she forced down a sob. ‘That’s all over and done,’ she said bravely.

 ‘No, it’s not,’ Pippin answered, his voice quiet. ‘Even now we grieve the babe born too soon, and we fear for the babe you bear.’

 ‘It was my fault,’ Faramir said low. ‘That was my fault as well,’ he repeated.

 ‘Your fault!’ Diamond said. ‘How?’

 ‘You fell,’ Faramir whispered, eyes fixed on his hands, twisted together in his lap.

 ‘O Farry,’ Diamond said, getting up to move to their son’s other side, sitting down next to him, throwing her arms around him. ‘You didn’t make me fall.’

 ‘I had a bad dream,’ Farry said simply. ‘You got up because I was calling to you, and you fell, and my little brother died next day.’

 ‘O Farry no!’ Diamond sobbed, pulling him close.

Pippin let mother and son weep together for some moments, his own eyes glistening, before saying quietly, ‘And Sandy thought he’d lose his position because the carpet was loose and your mother caught her foot when she rose from the bed.’

 ‘Sandy?’ Faramir said.

 ‘You see,’ Pippin continued in a reasonable tone, though his heart was wrung within him, ‘Sandy blamed himself.’ He smiled ironically. ‘He claimed the fault was his. Of course it wasn’t. It was no more his fault, Farry, than it was yours, or your mother’s, or Healer Woodruff’s.’

He took a deep breath. ‘The real tragedy in all this is what happened after. I lost myself in my work and did not give your mother the time and tenderness she needed to heal her grief, and neither of us gave you what you needed, lad. We’ve let you muddle along while we buried ourselves, when what you required was the love of a mother and a father.’

Diamond listened, breathing shallowly, tears running down her cheeks, but she was nodding. ‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Of course.’ She hugged her son. ‘O Farry, forgive me.’

 ‘O Diamond,’ Pippin said, his arms encompassing wife and son. ‘Forgive me.’

Diamond pushed herself back, wiping at her face. ‘That depends,’ she said, sniffling. ‘What am I forgiving?’

Pippin smiled. ‘Do you want a list?’ he said softly.

 ‘Do I need one?’ Diamond said.

 ‘Ah, love, you know me too well,’ Pippin answered. ‘Very well.’ He ticked off one finger. ‘For burying myself in business after our son died.’

 ‘Yes,’ Diamond said, sitting a little straighter, one hand unconsciously going to her belly.

Pippin ticked off another finger. ‘For passing Farry on to my special assistant, thinking he’d get more attention that way, more care, thinking that the business of being Thain was more important than anything else.’

 ‘Yes,’ Diamond said again, and Farry nodded.

Pippin ticked a third finger. ‘For going off to Buckland for diversion, without taking you along, when surely you could use a change of scene as well, and a chance to be relieved of some of the everyday tasks that burden you.’

 ‘There is that,’ Diamond agreed.

Pippin ticked off a fourth finger. ‘For falsely accusing Ferdibrand and Tolibold of intending harm to Farry,’ he said.

 ‘O Pippin,’ Diamond gasped. Pimpernel's words had not registered at the time she was berating her brother, but now the implications struck Diamond full force. ‘Falsely accusing... intending harm... that’s banishment!’

 ‘Or restitution,’ Pippin said. ‘I have apologised, and I have only begun to pay.’ He watched Diamond with narrowed eyes. ‘Are you well, my love?’ he asked. ‘We can finish this another time. I do not want to tax you.’

 ‘I am well,’ Diamond said defiantly, straightening once more. ‘Don’t tell me there’s something worse.’

 ‘Much worse,’ Pippin said. ‘But it is also the last, I hope.’

 ‘I don’t know what to hope,’ Diamond said slowly, as Faramir looked from mother to father in wonder. He could not remember the last time they had talked so... clearly... before him.

 Pippin hesitated, then steeling himself, he ticked the last finger. ‘For dying,’ he said softly. ‘For leaving you a widow, and Farry fatherless, and for refusing to face the fact that it’s going to happen one of these days, sooner than later if the healers are to be believed.’

 ‘O Pippin,’ Diamond whispered once again and looked to their son.

  ‘Farry knows,’ Pippin said. ‘I thought to hide it from him, but he’s known for years, haven’t you, lad?’ He tousled the curls so like his own. ‘You’re a bright one; you can add two and two as well as any other Took.’

Looking back to Diamond, he added, ‘I’ve tried to deny it myself, resented the healers and their attentions, resisted any “help” they’ve tried to offer, made their job harder and caused you needless worry.’

 ‘You are a Took,’ Diamond said simply.

 ‘Yes, Tooks and our disdain of healers,’ Pippin said. ‘You’d think we were made of something stronger than flesh and bone, the way we carry on. Well, my love,’ he added with a sigh, ‘I’m going to try to do better. O—‘ he said, holding up his hands, ‘I’m not going to turn into a Lalia, groaning about my many complaints and fussing about shawls and medicaments and fresh air and ailments, but I will try to heed the healers... and you, my dear,’ he finished, taking Diamond’s hand once more. ‘That is a promise.’

 ‘Da always keeps his promises, you know,’ Faramir said earnestly.

 ‘I know,’ Diamond said, and the three shared a long, wordless embrace.

Finally Pippin settled back, unobtrusively wiping his face and putting on a smile. ‘So,’ he said. ‘What’s the word about Nell? Am I an uncle or an aunt this time?’