TALLER: True Lies

SUMMARY: Having returned to Aman, Glorfindel speaks about the most important thing he did while in Middle-earth, but not everyone agrees with him.

WARNING: Humor alert.

****

“So there I was,” Glorfindel said, “all nine of the Nazgûl coming at me and I only had three hobbits and a weary Ranger for help.”

“I thought there were four Halflings?” Arafinwë questioned.

“Frodo wasn’t there,” Glorfindel reminded them. “Asfaloth already had him on the other side of the Bruinen.”

“So what did you do?” Finrod asked his long-time friend.

Glorfindel shrugged. “The only thing I could think of.... I got them all to make firebrands and then I went after the Nine single-handedly and....”

“Wait!” Sador exclaimed. “I know you’re good, gwador, but single-handedly?” He gave Glorfindel a jaundiced look and turned to the two dark-haired twins who were sitting on his right. “Could he have done it single-handedly?”

Elladan shrugged and Elrohir took another swig of ale. “We weren’t there so we don’t know,” the older twin said in an uninterested tone. They’d both heard this story too many times to care.

Glorfindel glared at them all. “Do you mind? Who’s telling this story?”

Finrod smiled. “Go ahead, gwador, we’re listening.”

“Though we may not believe a single word you say,” Sador added with a wicked grin. Glorfindel’s only response was to lean over and pull on Sador’s single warrior braid. “Hey!” the ellon protested, slapping Glorfindel’s hand away.

“Where was I?” Glorfindel asked rhetorically, sitting back with a smirk. “Ah yes... rescuing hobbits and crownless kings.”

Sador turned to Finrod. “He says that like it’s a weekly event with him.”

Finrod nearly spat his ale out trying not to laugh. “With Glorfindel I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Arafinwë and Sador both grinned while Glorfindel continued to glower at them. The twins exchanged raised eyebrows, shrugged almost as one and went back to drinking their ales.

“So your confrontation with these... Na...nazgûl,” — Arafinwë stumbled slightly over the unfamiliar word — “was the most important thing you did in two ages?”

Glorfindel shook his head. “Rescuing the Ringbearer from them,” he corrected. “I knew that Elrond had set a spell upon the Bruinen and if any of the Nine survived being swept away I would have to deal with them.”

“So just what did you do?” Finrod asked again.

Glorfindel smiled. “I brandished one of the torches we made and showed forth my might by invoking a Song of Power and....”

“You never!” Finrod exclaimed in protest.

“Did so.”

“Olórin,” Finrod turned to the last member of their party who had so far remained quiet and unobtrusive. “Did he really use a Song of Power on these Úlairi?”

The Maia, who had donned his istar persona for the occasion, pulled a pipe out of his mouth and looked thoughtful. “Well you have to understand, young Findaráto” — the twins snickered at their great-uncle being referred to as ‘young’ — “I was not there so I can only take Glorfindel’s word for it.”

“Plus Estel’s,” Glorfindel insisted. “The hobbits wouldn’t have understood but I helped raise Estel. He would have recognized a Song of Power when he heard one.”

Elrohir put his mug down. “I don’t recall Estel ever mentioning a Song of Power being sung at the Bruinen, do you, ’Dan?”

His older brother shook his head. “No. I’m pretty sure I would remember something like that.”

“I am not lying!” Glorfindel retorted, beginning to sound angry. He pointed a finger at the twins, his expression stern. “I can still make your lives very miserable if I so choose. Don’t forget it.”

“You’re not captain of Imladris anymore, Glorfi,” Elrohir said with a sneer. “You can’t do anything to us.” Elladan emphasized his brother’s point by sticking his tongue out at the former Balrog-slayer.

Glorfindel turned to his gwedyr and Arafinwë with a scowl. “See what I had to put up with for more than an age with these two?”

The others just chuckled. “You can’t fool us, gwador,” Sador said with a wicked smile. “You were having the time of your life.”

Glorfindel’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “The time of my life?” he sputtered. “Chasing after Nazgûl and idiot kings of Gondor, not to mention putting up with these two plus their adar plus....”

“Hey! Leave Ada out of this!” Elladan protested. “He was a true lord to his people and....”

“Peace,” Arafinwë said, placing a placating hand on the ellon’s arm. “Your adar is a wonderful person and full worthy of respect. I’m afraid our Glorfindel is a bit of a whiner.”

“I never whine!” the ellon nearly screamed, causing heads to turn in the inn where they were sitting.

“Oh? That’s not what I remember from our time in Mandos,” Finrod said drolly.

The twins went suddenly still. No one, but no one, ever mentioned Mandos in Glorfindel’s presence. Terrible things tended to happen to them if they did. The Elrondionnath knew that and wondered what their erstwhile captain would do to their ‘Unca Finda’ as their naneth had jokingly called him when they were first introduced to the great Finrod Felagund.

Glorfindel gave Finrod a scathing look which the twins recognized from their own childhood and they found themselves involuntarily cringing, a fact that did not go unnoticed by their elders. “Well, you remember wrong,” Glorfindel said dismissively. He turned to the Maia. “Tell them, Olórin. I never whine, do I?”

“Only when you don’t get your own way,” the istar replied, puffing on his pipe. Finrod and Sador started laughing and Glorfindel was ready with another retort when Arafinwë spoke.

“So do we all agree with Glorfindel that rescuing the Ringbearer and his companions was the most important thing he did while he was in Ennorath?”

Finrod, Sador and Olórin nodded but Elladan shook his head. “Actually,” he drawled, casting Glorfindel a wicked grin, “I think the most important thing Glorfi did” — Glorfindel did not appear amused — “was to lock Erestor in the garden privy in the middle of a blizzard.”

Elrohir started laughing. “Oh yes. I agree. It meant we got out of doing history that day. Boring stuff... history.”

“How old were you?” Finrod asked, giving them a knowing smile.

Elrohir shrugged. “Thirty... thirty-two?” His twin nodded.

Glorfindel rolled his eyes and muttered something none of them could hear. The others looked on in amusement at the interplay between Glorfindel and the twins. “Did you really lock poor Erestor in the privy?” Sador asked.

Glorfindel gave them a supercilious look. “Is it my fault that a heavy tree branch just happened to fall directly in front of the privy door and land in such a way that he couldn’t open it?”

“It is when you were last seen sitting in the selfsame tree just before it happened,” Elrohir said laughingly.

“How long was he stuck in there?” Finrod asked.

Elladan shrugged. “Five or six hours?” He turned to his brother who nodded in agreement.

“And no one knew?” Sador asked in disbelief.

“It was the old garden privy,” Elrohir explained, “and the closest to Erestor’s office, therefore more convenient, but it was rarely used by anyone except Erestor, especially in the winter. Most people just used one of the indoor privies situated in a back wing of the house.”

“How did the poor ellon get out?” Arafinwë asked, trying not to look too amused. He liked Elrond’s quiet, unassuming administrator and had great respect for him.

“No one knew he was missing until the evening meal,” Elladan answered. “That’s when the alarm went up.”

Elrohir sniggered. “Ada immediately called for a search and ordered Glorfindel to lead it.”

The others gave the golden-haired ellon enquiring looks. Glorfindel smirked. “I made sure they searched everywhere but the garden privy. It was another hour before anyone remembered it and finally rescued him.”

“Oh gwador!” Finrod exclaimed laughingly. “You are much too wicked for your own good.”

“Whyever did you do it?” Arafinwë asked.

Glorfindel gave them a mock scowl. “He made the mistake of saying that crossing the Helcaraxë couldn’t have been as bad as everyone made it out to be, that Elves don’t suffer cold like Mortals do.” He leaned back in his chair, taking a satisfied sip from his mug. “Well, he learned differently that day.”

Finrod turned to his great-nephews, giving them a disbelieving look. “And you seriously think that locking poor Erestor in the privy was the most important thing Glorfindel did while in Ennorath?”

“Oh yes,” Elrohir said, giving them an ingenuous look. “We were excused from lessons for the rest of the week...”

“And the week after,” Elladan added with a smile.

Elrohir nodded. “Erestor took some time to... um... thaw out.”

The others exchanged glances and then started laughing all over again.“Well I vote for ‘locking Erestor in the privy’ as the most important thing you did, gwador,” Sador said with a wink to Finrod once everyone calmed down.

“Oh?” Glorfindel gave him a dark look. “Why?”

“Because I still don’t believe you invoked a Song of Power against those Ringwraiths.”

“But I did,” Glorfindel insisted. “Why won’t anyone believe me?”

“Did Elrond?” Arafinwë asked shrewdly.

When Glorfindel didn’t respond immediately they all nodded knowingly. “Just what I figured,” Sador said with a smirk. “You made that all up.”

“A good story, gwador,” Finrod said, clapping Glorfindel on the back as he stood up. “Well, I must be going. Amarië is waiting for me.”

The others, except Glorfindel, stood as well, exclaiming that they too had other places to be. Soon, only Glorfindel remained, glowering into his mug.

“Why didn’t they believe me?” he asked almost pleadingly, looking up as Námo appeared, seated in the chair that Elrohir had just occupied. None of the other patrons in the inn ever noticed him. “I did use a Song of Power. Did they seriously think a few torches were going to frighten those servants of Sauron away?”

“I’m afraid your reputation proceeded you, best beloved,” Námo said with a gentle smile. “You and I know the truth, as does Ilúvatar. Does it really matter if others do not?”

Glorfindel shrugged. “I guess not,” he said reluctantly, “but it was the most important thing I ever did, wasn’t it?” He looked to the Vala for confirmation.

Námo’s expression was unreadable. “Actually, I have to agree with the others. Locking Erestor in the privy was the most important thing you ever did.”

Glorfindel just stared at him in disbelief. Námo nodded, his mouth slowly spreading into a smile. “Boring stuff... history.”

For a moment, silence stretched between them, and then Glorfindel threw back his head and laughed as a still smiling Námo faded from his view.

****

Úlairi: (Quenya) Nazgûl, Ringwraiths.

Gwador: (Sindarin) Sworn brother. The plural would be gwedyr.

Istar: (Quenya) Wizard.

Adar: (Sindarin) Father. The hypocoristic form is Ada.

Naneth: (Sindarin) Mother.

Ennorath: (Sindarin) Middle-earth.