“A Merry Ride”

“Sit down Pippin,” Eglantine admonished her son for the third time since they’d started out. “Merry, you have my permission to sit on him if he gets up one more time.”

“I was only trying to show Tulip the sights. She’s never been on a ride to Hobbiton before and she told me she doesn’t want to miss anything.”

Pervinca yanked her brother back into his seat. “You don’t want to miss anything either,” she frowned, as only an older sister can when feeling she has permission to tell off a younger sibling.

“Quit bossing me, Vinca. I was only trying to be nice to Tulip.”

Pervinca stuck her tongue out and then settled back to read her book.

Pippin made a face at her, then placed Tulip back inside his shirt and leaned over to check on Lily, who was resting in her basket at his feet. Seeing that the cat was asleep he looked around for something else to occupy his attention. They’d been on the road for what seemed like hours and he was growing restless. He wished Da would pull over soon so they could stretch their legs and have a bite to eat.

Bilbo and Frodo travelled in the carriage ahead of them with plenty of room to include Pearl and Pimpernel. Eglantine had a few misgivings about allowing her two youngest to ride in the back with out at least one of their sisters to keep an eye on them, but relented when her elder daughters had seemed so eager to join Bilbo and Frodo. She knew they didn’t often get such an opportunity.

Bored, Pippin started up his stream of chatter in Merry’s ear again, but his cousin was only half-listening. He had his nose buried in a book as well, so he only responded to Pippin’s attempts with an occasional grunt in the right places. His mother had her knitting out and it seemed the only person who wasn’t preoccupied was his father, but even he was talking. Pippin listened for a moment and grinned when he realised Da was holding a one-sided conversation with his mother, who seemed to be absorbed in her own activity. He decided things certainly could use a little livening up so he started another conversation with Tulip.

“We’re going to have a great deal of fun at Bag End, m’lass! There will be lots and lots of food just everywhere, and games to play and new folks to see and we’re going to have such fun at the Faire! What’s that?” Pippin held the toy up to his ear and listened, his smile widening. “Oh, aye! Absolutely! Why, I think that’s a splendid idea, you really should do just that. It’s a good thing you remembered your apron, but I thought maybe that’s what you had in mind when you asked me to pack it for you.” Pippin giggled into his hand. “Why, I wager you’ll be the very first piglet ever to enter the baking competition!”

Eglantine’s ears perked up at her son’s statement and she cast a sideways glance at her husband. Paladin was still lost in thought, obviously holding one of those odd conversations that she knew from experience he was certain included her. She shook her head in exasperation. What was she going to do with her lads? One of them was apparently intending to enter his stuffed piggy in a contest for baked goods, the other was certain he was receiving the answers he wanted to hear from his wife about a little outing he was planning, when she hadn’t even said a word. Eglantine wondered, and not for the first time, just what their little worlds were like when they were daydreaming like this?

“Yes, of course I’ll help you,” Pippin continued. “I think Cousin Bilbo would be delighted to turn his kitchen over to us for the day and, oh, I have just the recipe for you to try! It’s one I’ve been wanting Mum to make for me for ever so long but she says it’s not a good one, but I didn’t agree with her because I got it from a very old cookbook that belonged to Aunt Peony one time when we were at Great Smials but Mum only made it for us just that one time and it was ever so good so I don’t know why she won’t make it again…”

Eglantine’s ears twitched. How he manages to chatter on for so long without taking a breath is one thing I never will understand…and just what recipe is he going on about? I don’t recall any…oh. No. Not the plum tarts again! Eglantine almost laughed aloud, but managed to stifle her giggle behind a fake cough. Oh my, that one time I humoured him and made them against my better judgment, the lad ate far too many and then spent the entire rest of the visit in the privy. And he wants them again? No, prune plums baked into anything certainly did not agree with Pippin’s tummy and there was no way she was going to allow him, or Tulip for that matter, to make them!

“So that’s why I think it’s a very good plan and I’m pleased that you do too. It’ll give us lads plenty of time to get back before the Faire starts and I’m sure you and the lasses will want to have those two days to yourselves for baking anyway, so you won’t hardly even miss us. Och, I’m so happy you understand and you want me to go!”

Eglantine didn’t know who to respond to first; her son with the disastrous plan to have his knitted piglet bake plum tarts that would give him the runs, or to her husband’s equally unfortunate idea of gathering up his friends to go pub-hopping? Eglantine shook her head to clear it. Half turning in her seat, she shook a finger at Pippin. “NO PLUM TARTS!”

Swinging back around she jabbed a finger into her husband’s arm to get his undivided attention. “When exactly was it that I gave you my blessings for this night out with the lads while we’re visiting Bilbo, Paladin Took?”

“What?” Paladin looked startled and he loosened the reins, allowing the waggon to slow. “Why, Tina, I heard you! You told me you thought it was an excellent idea and that I deserved it…” his voice trailed off as he watched her frown deepen, and his cheeks flushed slightly. “You did, didn’t you? I’m certain I heard you agree with me heartily, just a few minutes ago…”

“No, Pad, I haven’t said a blessed word all the while you’ve been spouting off about this plan of yours. Mercy! You and your son have both been in your own little world for quite some time.”

Paladin tilted his head towards the back of the waggon. Pippin grinned toothily at him and waggled his piglet in the air. Pervinca snickered, and Merry looked up from his book, puzzled. Paladin scratched his head and then started the ponies moving again. “But, I could have sworn…well…we can at least talk about it, can’t we?”

“You’ve been talking enough for the two of us, and for quite some time! Anyway, I think we should wait until we get to Bag End to make any additional plans in order to include Bilbo in them.”

“Ah…yes. You’re quite right, m’dear. ‘Tis better that way. Then we can--”

“Stop it, Pip!”

Paladin was interrupted by his youngest daughter’s wail of protest and a loud thump that was probably her book being flung to the floor of the waggon.

“I didn’t do anything, Vinca! It was Tulip!”

“It was not, it was you! You saw him Merry - tell him! You--”

“I didn’t see anything, I was reading,” Merry grumbled.

“Yes you did! Merry, tell her it was Tulip who--”

“No, Pip! Besides, I think--”

“Owww! Daaaaa! He pulled my hair!”

“I didn’t touch you Pervinca Took!”

“You did so! You poked me with that stupid pig and you pulled my hair--”

“Merrrryyyy! Tell her to stop kicking me! And stop calling Tulip names!”

“Then tell him to stop looking at me!”

“Don’t put me in the middle of your argument, you two! I told you I didn’t see a thing!” Merry scooted away from both of his cousins.

The obvious sound of a commotion followed and Paladin glanced at his wife. Her face was growing pinkish. That was never a good sign. “Children!” he barked without turning, “STOP your bickering right now!”

The back of the waggon fell dead silent and Paladin’s mouth twitched in a little smile. How well he remembered his own da’s bellow of warning in the same circumstances, accompanied by the threat to stop the waggon. He glanced at Eglantine again. She was smiling so he gave her a wink and hurried the ponies along. They travelled in peaceful quiet for a short while before he detected the slight warning sound: the low, muttering voices of unhappy children and the shuffling of their feet. Paladin knew another scuffle was in the making. He opened his mouth, but his wife was already turning in her seat. Before either one could utter a word they heard a plaintive plea.

“Da? Tulip has to go to the privy.”

******

“Ah, that really hit the spot. Thank you my dear,” Bilbo leaned over and gave Eglantine a peck on the cheek. Frodo was already helping Pearl and Nell gather up the dishes from their luncheon as everyone prepared to get back on the road.

“We’ll be arriving in the village before much longer,” Bilbo said as he slowly rose to his feet.

“Aye, and not a moment too soon for my liking,” Paladin muttered, eyeing his youngest children. “I think Pervinca had best trade places with either Pearl or Nell in your waggon.”

Bilbo nodded. “Certainly. That sounds like a wise plan. Come children, let’s get moving. I’d like to be home before nightfall.”

Pimpernel readily changed places with her younger sister and they set off again. The trip was quiet for several miles before a widely yawning young hobbit looked up at his parents and asked, “Are we there yet?”

“What--?” Paladin startled. “Of course not, we’ve barely--”

“Because Tulip has to go to the privy again…”

Eglantine chuckled, leaning over to her husband and whispering, “I told you not to let him drink so much tea.”