Galadriel's Lay

The world is changing, what is the cause?
I feel in my water it's the menopause,
Hits Elven Queens around the 3rd age,
So I'm going through a funny stage.

Celeborn's changed he's not the same,
Gets on my nerves, but Gandalf's to blame,
He wanted to chat to him, you see,
He never bloody well talks to me!

The mirror's changed in myth and fable,
I said we shouldn't have switched to cable,
And Haldir's being such a bore,
Keeps flicking over to see the score.

Sauron's getting above Himself,
Seems to think he's a bloody Elf,
But one eye makes a lousy portal,
You need a body to be immortal.

Now Mr. Eye wants to run the Show,
Says there's nowhere else to go,
He can have it all back – his Ring as well,
And, when Eru creates it, He can go to hell!

So now I'm thinking of taking a cruise,
Cabaret, Bingo, blokes and booze,
I'm not getting any younger my dear
And there's nothing really left for me here.

I suppose you can email me once I'm gone,
Try Galadriel@Undying-dot-com,
But I really just want to be alone,
So I'm switching telepathy to answerphone.

Círdan says that I shouldn't adjourn,
So I've told him to make the ticket return,
Then if it really comes to the crunch,
I can catch up with Arwen and do lunch.

But right now I just need a rest,
I've done a lot and I'm past my best,
And an Elven Queen must bow to fate,
When She's exceeded her sell-by date.