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Ribbons  by Lily Dragonquill

Chapter Five: Yule




The choice had been his, but that Merimac had not realised until weeks later.

It all began when, two weeks after she had left, he received Adamanta's first letter. She had not written anything of import; just an account of her journey home, the observation that nothing had changed there over the summer and how glad she was to be with her family again. Yet Merimac had found himself strangely enchanted by her words. She spoke openly and with familiarity, as if she had known him all her life rather than having held him at a distance that summer.

Merimac, though not as skilled with words as she was, wrote back in a like manner. There was nothing awkward in it, and though he had enjoyed the bantering that usually accompanied each of their conversations, he liked this new way of communicating even better. Each letter grew a little more personal and every couple of days Merimac found himself waiting impatiently for the messenger.

That was when his mother first observed the change in him. Soon after his friends did as well. While Saradoc remained silent, being engaged in correspondence of his own, Milo and Marmadas did not hesitate to tease him whenever they met. Merimac took it with good humour, denying every claim of his being tamed with a wave of his hand. In private, however, he had to admit that he had got himself into something far more serious than his usual flirtations.

Adamanta mattered to him. His heart beat faster and he felt delighted shivers run up his spine whenever he thought of her. He had even stopped pursuing other lasses; whenever his eye began to rove, he felt strangely uncomfortable, and his thoughts returned to Adamanta's ribbon on his nightstand.

One night, as he lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, the ribbon gliding through his fingers, he came to understand the choices Adamanta had put into his hands. It was up to him whether they would meet again, and whether it would be more than a simple visit. Though he had been cavalier about their relationship at first, he now realised that things had progressed much further than he had realised.

On the night of his birthday party, he'd stood in the rain outside her aunt's smial for a quarter of an hour, his eyes fixed on the kitchen window watching her do the dishes and talk to her cousin. He hadn't dared more than to come to the Grubb's door, for that would have meant seeing Adamanta. And then he would have had to explain why he had not invited her to his party. Even he was not certain whether he was simply too proud, or too shy, to ask her. He'd felt like a fool.

"I just want to be sure."

That morning Adamanta had bound him to her and now he understood why she had given him the ribbon. She was as afraid as he, though in a different way. She did not want to lose her heart to someone she could not trust and he had not exactly proven himself trustworthy the last couple of years. The ribbon was her way of getting him to ask himself what he wanted from her, while at the same time leaving the choice whether to wear it or not up to him. Now he needed to decide whether he dared venture into a future with Adamanta.



~*~*~



The Hall's ballroom was flooded with light. Chandeliers on the ceiling and sconces on the walls gave the room a warm, golden shimmer. Fir-sticks, mistletoe and cinnamon-sticks were bound into small bundles and adorned with red or golden ribbons. They lay on the tables, hung from the walls or hung from several of the lights. Their smell mingled with that of pipe-weed, cider, mulled wine, glogg and the inviting scent of baked goods.

It was the Second Yule. Dinner was long past and the guests and dwellers of the Hall met in the ballroom for music, dance and conversation. The musicians - Merimac, for once, not among them - played a merry tune though there were only a few children on the dance floor.

Merimac's eyes never left the main entrance. He had expected for Adamanta to arrive yesterday, on the First Yule, though he had been on tenterhooks ever since the celebrations began four days ago. The dark blue ribbon was once again fastened around his wrist. He had thought long about it and even talked to his mother again.

"You will know. The answer is in your heart."

He had made his decision. There were no more doubts, no more insecurity, except for this one fear that Adamanta, or Mantha as he now addressed her in his letters, would not show up.

"You look sad," a voice noted beside him. "You know, for a few marbles, I could find more stuff out for you. And then you would be happy again."

Merimac looked down with a smile to find Frodo sitting beside him. His young cousin stayed at the Hall for Yule. He had grown taller since last summer, but other than in height he had not changed much. The boy nibbled on a biscuit and Merimac noted that he had several more of them tucked in his trouser pocket.

"Not this time, scallywag," Merimac replied ruffling the already tousled curls. "Tonight, I fear, I can do nothing but wait."

With that his eyes wandered once more to the room's main entrance, though his lips twitched at the memory of the last time little Frodo had come to his assistance. Without his young cousin it would have taken him far longer to discover Adamanta's parentage. The boy's innocent charms had plied the information and from, of all people, Miss Violet Grubb herself.

"Why are you wearing that?" Frodo asked, touching the ribbon around Merimac's wrist. "It's for girls."

"It belongs to a girl, in fact," Merimac told him. "I am waiting to give it back to her."

Frodo smiled, not letting go of the ribbon. "I'll keep you company until she comes."

Without further explanation Frodo took Merimac's arm into both his hands, laid it around his shoulders and snuggled into the crook of it. A huge yawn claimed his cream smeared mouth. The child smiled up at him and put a finger to his lips. "Don't tell mommy I did that. She'll think I'm tired," he whispered conspiratorially, "and will put me to bed."

Merimac smiled and his eyes flickered to where his aunt stood with aunts Asphodel and Amaranth. The child definitely had a way of getting what he wanted. If only Merrimac would evince such a skill, if and when the object of his desire finally turned up.



~*~*~



"You look as if you are in your cups, son." Rorimac asked as he sat down beside his boy. "And you haven't danced a single dance all night."

Merimac chuckled without humour. "I'm not in any 'cup', though I might be by the morrow."

It was past midnight and the room had become less crowded. Children had been put to bed and most of the older folk had followed their example. The music still played, but the light was dimmer now, some candles had already been extinguished.

Merimac's heart sank lower with every passing minute. Adamanta had not come. Perhaps she never would. Perhaps she had played with him the way he had played with so many others. Perhaps he had a fool's hope. In the next two days, the festivities would slowly die down. There would be no bonfire like last night and no extravagant dinner as they had had tonight. If Adamanta did not turn up this night, she never would. And why should she? He had not told her that he had made up his mind, that he wanted her to come back and stay, that he would even formally court her if that was what she wanted.

"It's that lass who turned your head, isn't it?" his father asked after a long moment of silence. A strong arm laid itself over his shoulder and Merimac found himself in an almost too tight embrace. If he had not been in his cups, the Master had had one mug too many at the very least. "Let me tell you a thing, boy. Women, as comfortable as life with them can be, mean naught but trouble. Look at your brother." Rory made a dismissive gesture. "He's run off to Tookland for Yule, as important a celebration as it is, and all for a woman. Not that Esme isn't worth pursuing. A fine young lass, as I've said many times. But I'll be glad when they're finally married and under my roof again." Rorimac shook his head dolefully and had another draught from his mug. "There he sits in Tookland when he should be here for the celebration. As my heir he ought to be at my side to assure the people that Buckland will be in good hands even into the next generation. And now I see you staring holes in the bottom of your mug while you should be enjoying yourself. And what's this?" The Master glanced disapprovingly at the ribbon. "The colour matches your waistcoat nicely, but I can't say it suits a strapping lad to go about wearing a lady's ribbon."

Merimac did not reply. He knew that Rorimac would just continue rambling if he did. Instead he glanced from the ribbon to the door for about the thousandth time that night and wondered whether he should get himself an ale. At least then, he and his father could converse on the same level. There were quite a few things about women that might need to be said when this Yule was over.

Merimac blinked. His heart leapt into his throat before he was even aware of the reason for it. He jumped to his feet. Adamanta Goodbody stood at the entry, looking more beautiful than ever before. Her hair, which she wore loose for the first time since they met, hung over her shoulders, the long, luxuriant curls shining an almost golden colour. She had fastened the locks that would have hung in her face with his dark blue ribbon. Her skirts were of the same dark blue tint, her blouse was crimson, and she wore a white bodice, which had been lovingly embroidered with blue yarn. Her choice of dress beautifully accented the tender curves of her body. She looked stunning.

Merimac could hardly believe his eyes. He did not dare breathe as he walked slowly towards her. His hands were shaking, his knees were weak. She had come and if he hadn't been sure if he loved her before, he would have known he did now. His mouth was dry and for a split second he didn't know whether he should laugh or cry with joy. Then she smiled at him and he found himself doing the former. He had butterflies in his stomach and was more nervous than he had ever been before and yet unbelievable joy filled him.

"I see you're wearing my ribbon, Master Brandybuck," she noted tenderly.

Merimac hadn't realized how much he missed hearing her voice. His blush rose to the tips of his ears, and if his cheeks had ever felt warmer, he could not remember it. He smiled shyly, without taking his eyes off her for fear she might disappear. "I thought we had agreed on Mac," he said.

"You're quite the impatient one, aren't you?" Adamanta asked with a smile.

Instead of answering her, Merimac said what was in his heart at that moment.

"You have come."

"Of course. I keep my promises."

Merimac's heart felt like bursting. His lips twitched with emotion. How he had waited for this moment! If only he could, he would fling his arms around her and hold her tight. She would never escape him again.

"So do I," he replied finally, nodding at the ribbon around his wrist. His voice was trembling, and he almost stumbled over his next words. "I've thought long and hard and I've decided." He reached for her arm anxiously . "I've been trice a fool. I should never have let you go in the first place. I promise that you can trust me to," he swallowed hard, his eyes holding hers as if they were the only things that kept him on his feet, "to love you."

Adamanta smiled at him, her eyes watery with emotion. She had probably not expected his pronouncement, in fact, Merimac did not believe what he was saying either. He had made his decision long ago. He knew what he wanted and he didn't need to think anymore. If he hesitated now - and thinking always made one hesitate - he would lose this chance forever. Unable to look into her face again, he loosened the knot on the ribbon and refastened it onto Adamanta's wrist with clumsy fingers. "Will you…" he stammered fighting for the words he had wanted to tell her for so long. He took a deep breath and lifted his eyes to find his insecure and beseeching expression reflected in her eyes. "Will you stay, then? Here, with me?"

With his hand still holding her wrist Merimac could feel her heart was racing. So was his. Adamanta seemed at a loss for words. She simply looked at him with the most incredulous expression, her head slightly tilted to one side, her eyes never leaving his. "I - I think I will," she finally stammered with a timid smile. "For the time being."

For a moment Merimac simply stared at her, his mouth open, unsure what to make of her response. Adamanta shook her head and placed one finger on his lips. A warm smile illuminated her lovely face silencing his protests far better than her finger could. "Violet was right. You really are an oaf."

Merimac grew stiff, feeling more frightened than indignant. Helplessly, he searched her eyes.

"I'm not of age," Adamanta explained softly. "Even if your parents allowed me to stay at the Hall my father would not allow it."

"I could send him a letter and explain myself," Merimac told her with the hint of a grin.

Adamanta shook her head, her eyes sparkling. "He'd never agree, and would probably be ready to rip your head off before he got to the end of your letter." Merimac's heart swelled at the sight of her and the sound of her laughter. He let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding, and then all conscious thought failed him. Her lips found his in a tentative kiss which quickly turned into something far deeper and more intense. It warmed him from the inmost part of his soul, kindling a secret fire that spread through his body until he was tingling all over. This was the first step into his new life. He knew what he would be giving up, but this… Merimac pulled her close and responded to her with rapt eagerness, not caring where he was or who might be watching. This was what he would gain. Adamanta was his future, of that he was now convinced, and he would do everything to hold onto it.



~THE END~





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