90: After the Ceremony

The next morning Sador was assaulted, though he didn’t really mind. As he was walking towards the royal dining hall to join the family for breakfast, two ellith and an ellon belonging to the king’s household approached him from behind.

"Sador, wait up," one of the ellith called out.

Sador turned to see Rúmilion, Serindë, and Mardillë coming towards him. It had been Serindë who had called out and she and her sister greeted the Sinda with saucy kisses while their cousin looked on with amusement. All three were centuries older than Sador, but they had befriended him shortly after his arrival in Tirion. Their parents were members of Arafinwë’s court and they themselves held important positions within the Noldóran’s government. Mardillë worked in the Exchequer. Rúmilion would one day sit on the High Bench as one of Arafinwë’s best magistrates, though for now he helped adjudicate minor (and sometimes not so minor) court cases. Serindë was a junior diplomat, and had been asked to mentor Sador once his diplomatic training had begun. She had been initially reluctant, but had come to admire the Sinda Reborn and soon they had become good friends. It was only natural that Mardillë and Rúmilion would become his friends as well, for the three cousins were of an age and inseparable.

"Are you going to breakfast?" Serindë asked, "May we join you?"

Sador nodded. "Yes. I would enjoy the company," he said, giving the ellith shy smiles as the four made their way down the corridor.

When they entered the dining room, Arafinwë noticed them and was glad to see Sador looking relaxed and obviously enjoying the company of his three friends. His ward was no longer shy and diffident around the other ellyn and ellith of the household and held himself with easy grace, nodding to those around him who gave him greetings. Arafinwë was glad that Serindë in particular had befriended Sador, for the elleth was very wise for one who had yet to see her first millennium, and she was open-minded enough to see Sador’s worth and be willing to foster his diplomatic talents.

Too many of the Eldar, Arafinwë reflected as he watched the interplay between the four friends, were too hidebound to traditions that may have served them well in the past, but could no longer serve them in the present. The presence of the Exilic Noldor, who perforce had abandoned many of the cherished traditions of "knowing one’s place", made that impossible. These Noldor and their descendants saw themselves as having earned their more exalted places in Endórëan society and were not about to abandon them because they did not fit in with Amanian views. Sador’s grandmother was a case in point; Haldir was another.

Arafinwë frowned to himself. Hallatiro Pelendurion had fled Aman against his atar’s wishes, joining Turucáno’s troops. Pelendur had been one of the few Noldor in Arafinwë’s court who had refused the summons to arms during the War of Wrath, declaring that he would not help rescue those who deserved their fate for defying the Valar. Arafinwë did not dispute him, for in truth, not all could follow him to Endórë, and in the King’s absence, Pelendur had proven a wise and capable administrator. It grieved Arafinwë that the elf was so bitter against the Exiles that he had refused to welcome his own son when the ellon was finally released from Mandos. The King made a silent vow that he would see that Hallatiro — or rather, Haldir, as he preferred to be called — and his wife lacked for nothing. He would not interfere with what was a family situation, but he would show by his own actions that he did not approve of Pelendur’s treatment of his son.

New lives, new identities...

He suddenly wondered about his daughter, still in Endórë. He had met with her briefly during the War, she and her Sindarin husband. There had been little time for them to foregather during the endless battles and at the end when all was confusion and chaos, there had been little they could say to one another. Artanis had been denied the right to return to Aman and in truth she had proudly announced that she was not yet ready to abandon Endórë. She had been haughty and needlessly disrespectful, though Arafinwë had recognized her fears and insecurities behind her arrogance. Celeborn had watched the two of them interact, wary of him, obviously besotted of her, though not so much so that he did not recognize her faults. He had been rather short with her and Arafinwë had been surprised to see her blush and acquiesce to Celeborn’s demand that she apologize for her arrogance, which she did, though reluctantly. At that particular moment Arafinwë had no doubt that his daughter had chosen wisely in marrying Olwë’s great-nephew.

His thoughts returned to the present when he noticed Mardillë shyly touch Sador’s single braid and ask a question, though he did not hear what was said. He saw Sador go pale and hoped that whatever had been said did not unduly upset the ellon. Then he noticed a sly look steal across his ward’s face as he pulled on his braid rather hard and, with hands in motion, began telling his three friends something that set them all laughing. Arafinwë hid a smile when he realized that Sador was describing how he had chased Glorfindel around the High King’s garden after Glorfindel had insulted him about the braid.

Then something happened, something that Arafinwë should have anticipated but had not.

Haldir and Gwilwileth had remained in Tirion at Arafinwë’s behest and later had come to Vanyamar to act as witnesses to the trial of Glorfindel’s kidnappers. Arafinwë was determined that the elves of Tol Eressëa be told the truth about the Valar and Judgment and planned on making Haldir and his wife his ambassadors in that endeavor. In the meantime, they were royal guests and Arafinwë had encouraged the couple to join his family for the more informal meals if they so desired.

Most of the conversations around the various tables that morning centered around the ceremony of the night before. When Haldir and Gwilwileth entered the dining hall they gravitated towards Sador. Sador looked up with a smile as the Tol Eressëan couple approached. Then Haldir did the most unexpected thing — he knelt before Sador, Gwilwileth right behind him.

All conversations stopped as everyone looked on in stunned wonder. Even Arafinwë was nonplused and had stopped in the midst of reaching for a sticky bun. Sador went white, but he remained composed.

"Haldir, what is the meaning of this?" he asked quietly, but such was the absolute silence around him that all heard his words.

Haldir took hold of one of Sador’s hands, bent over and kissed it before looking up. His expression was a mixture of joy and sorrow and tears glittered in the corners of his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered.

Sador shook his head. "Haldir..."

"The Darkness came for us in Gondolin," Haldir said in a rush, ignoring everything and everyone. Arafinwë saw the nearly blank look of pain in the ellon’s face and wished he could go and comfort him. "It came and I... I was lost... I fought in the Battle of Unnumbered Tears beside Lord Glorfindel and Lord Ecthelion of the Fountain... the horror... the... I remember Húrin... I remember his words... his words..."

Now Haldir was crying, and Sador went to his own knees and embraced the ellon, rocking him gently. No one moved or spoke, frozen by the tableau of pain before them. Then, in the corner of his eye, Arafinwë saw Pelendur stand up where he had been sitting with his wife further along the high table, his face white with fury.

"Why do you weep, Hallatiro? Death was what you deserved. Death is what you got. Get off the floor, you sniveling Etyangol!"

Three things happened almost simultaneously. Arafinwë rose with a shout of denial, his eyes ablaze with a fury of his own at Pelendur. Haldir’s amillë, Lady Lossellë, rose at the same time, gave her husband a hard slap in the face, then collapsed in tears. Haldir also rose to his feet. Then in four quick strides he was standing before his atar. Without a word, he reached over, grabbed the elf by his tunic and pulled him across the table, dishes flying, until Pelendur was lying on the floor with Haldir kneeling over him. Haldir’s face was red with anger and his eyes held the same "light of Mandos" that Arafinwë had seen in his own son’s eyes at least once.

"Deserved death, atar?" Haldir shouted. "You are right in that, my lord. I did deserve death and more. In fact that is what I got. More. I stood in the Máhanaxar before all the Valar and they Judged me. They Judged me, every last one of them. Do you know what that’s like, atar? Have you ever stood before even one of the Valar in all their wrath and glory... and ... and mercy? Yes, mercy! You have no idea of what you speak. You speak from ignorance. I speak from fact. Whatever my sins, they have been forgiven by Eru himself. How dare you do any less!"

He pushed Pelendur hard against the floor and stood up, turning to where his amillë still sat, crying on her neighbor’s shoulder. He went to her, took her face in his hands and kissed her gently on the brow. "I’m sorry, emmë," he whispered, then he stalked past his atar, who had not moved from the floor, to where his wife still knelt. He helped her up and the two left without a backward glance.

Arafinwë was about to speak when Sador rose gracefully from his knees, walked over to the still supine Pelendur, and offered his hand. It was a long moment before Pelendur accepted it and allowed the ellon to help him up. Once-born and Reborn stared at one another, then Sador began to speak, his voice quiet and non-condemnatory.

"At the end of every Judgment, Lord Námo speaks these words: All judgments have been rendered, all debts paid. It is a sign to us who have been Judged that Forgiveness is now at hand, that Healing and Reconciliation is now ours by right of Judgment. Haldir had his life ripped from him by orcs and valaraucar, leaving his new bride to survive as best she could for centuries after until they could be reunited once again. Your contempt, your denial of your own son, is an affront to the Valar who have welcomed him back into their graces. Do not follow in the footsteps of Fëanáro, who sneered at the mercy of the Valar, my lord. You will not enjoy the consequences."

The absolute sincerity of those words and the weight of authority with which they were spoken convinced Arafinwë that Someone Else spoke through his ward at that moment. Pelendur must have felt the same, for he took a step or two back, his expression one of complete terror as he saw something in Sador’s eyes that should not have been there.

"Sador," Arafinwë said quietly and was relieved that when the ellon turned he saw only his ward looking back at him. "Go and make sure Haldir and Gwilwileth are well."

"Yes, Atar," the ellon said, and, with a short bow to the King, began to leave.

"And Sador," he added. Sador turned and gave Arafinwë an enquiring look. "When you have seen to Haldir, come find me." The ellon nodded. As he turned and started past his friends, Rúmilion stood up to bar his path, a look of concern on his face.

"Would you like us to go with you, Sador?" the older ellon asked and the two ellith nodded their heads.

Sador smiled and shook his head. "No. I think Haldir will respond better with just me around. Come you later if you will. I will invite him and Gwilwileth for luncheon at my suite. It would be well for all of you to get to know one another."

Rúmilion nodded. "Luncheon it is then." He stepped aside and Sador left.

"Pelendur," Arafinwë then said and the councillor looked up, a dazed expression on his face. "We value your council but We think you would benefit from a period of... rest and meditation. You have Our leave to retire to Our summer lodge until the New Year. Your wife may join you if she so desires and anyone else of your household. Calandil will see that you are provided with a suitable escort."

Pelendur went white at Arafinwë’s words, but understood that the King would brook no dissent and gave him a bow of acquiescence. He stared briefly at his wife, who gave him a slight shake of her head, nodded mutely and walked out of the room, two guards following him at Arafinwë’s signal.

Then Arafinwë went to Lady Lossellë, who sat there quite forlorn, and took her hand. "Fear not, lady. We are not banishing Pelendur, only giving him time to think things through. He will be welcomed back to Our court at the New Year. We hope that in the ensuing weeks before that he will take what Haldir and Sador have said to heart. We would see you both reconciled to your son, but We will not force it upon either of you."

Lady Lossellë stood then and gave the King a respectful curtsey. "I thank you, my lord, for your generosity of heart. Please, allow me to retire."

"You have Our leave, daughter," the Noldóran said formally and gave her a kiss on her forehead. She turned to go, then stopped and gave the King a confused look.

"My son’s name is Hallatiro... why will he not use it? It’s a good name. Why will he not use it?"

Arafinwë sighed and gathered the elleth into his arms as she started weeping again. "New lives, new identities, my daughter. Your son found a life and purpose and even a wife that he did not have here in Aman. Hallatiro... Haldir... does it really matter? Can you not rejoice that he has been returned to you, whole and happy?"

Arafinwë released the lady and with an encouraging smile gave her over to one of the guards with orders to see that she made it to her apartments without incident. By now, Eärwen had ordered the mess on the floor where dishes lay scattered about to be cleaned up. It was the signal that breakfast was over, and in truth, Arafinwë found he no longer had an appetite. Giving his wife a peck on the cheek, he excused himself to attend to the business of the day with his other councillors, who followed him out of the room in silence.

****

Arafinwë looked up with a smile when he heard the knock on the door and saw Sador standing there. It was now late afternoon. The wheels of government grind slowly, but they do grind and Arafinwë had spent the better part of the day attending to it. Even now, he was pouring over some documents concerning the income being generated by the royal farms and wondering how they could best be used for the benefit of the Tol Eressëans. He realized that the Sindarin guildmasters had been clever to pass on the higher prices through their own merchants since the Amaneldi merchants were strictly monitored to avoid price gouging on their part. It pointed to the need for a stronger and more central government on Tol Eressëa. Under one of the kings, this would never have happened.

The King motioned for Sador to enter and gratefully put the documents away, pouring some wine into a couple of goblets for them. "How are Haldir and Gwilwileth?" he asked as Sador sank into a chair and accepted the goblet with a smile.

"Better. Haldir was cursing, Gwilwileth was crying, but neither were attempting to climb a tree."

Arafinwë chuckled, then sobered somewhat and sighed. "Things are more complicated than I ever suspected. When Findaráto came back to us, I had no idea what was happening with him. I’m afraid I had very little patience at first, but at least I did not reject him outright."

Sador stared out of one of the embrasures onto the garden beyond, now dormant with the winter and sighed. "None of us were meant for death, yet, do you not find it curious that Lord Námo built the Halls of Mandos long before any of the Children ever appeared in Arda? To build it for the Secondborn, that is one thing, for death is Eru’s gift to them, but he had halls built for us as well, long before death ever became a part of the fabric of our lives."

Arafinwë stared at his ward with wonder and respect. Such thoughts had never occurred to him. Yet here was one who was accounted young by the standards of the Eldar, one who was barely out of elflinghood, who exhibited such wisdom and depth of thought.

"Lord Námo is known for his prescience," Arafinwë said softly, taking a sip of wine.

Sador nodded. "I wonder if he wept as the Halls were being built, knowing why?"

The King shivered at those words, though he could not have said why, even to himself. Sador seemed to gather himself together and gave Arafinwë a clear-eyed look.

"What did you wish to see me about, Atar?"

Arafinwë forced himself to smile. "I think last night’s ceremony went off rather well. I would like to see some of our other ceremonies incorporate the traditions of those from Endórë, if you are willing to help Axantur with redesigning them. The New Year will be coming up soon and then there’s the Merendë Andolairë at Midsummer."

Sador nodded. "I would be glad to help. Perhaps I can convince Haldir and Gwilwileth to join in the project. I’m sure they will have ideas that Axantur can use."

"Good idea. It will give them both a purpose while they are here. I’ve already told them that I would like them to remain until the New Year."

Sador gave Arafinwë a strange look. "Told them or ordered them? They do have lives of their own, you know, Atar."

Arafinwë raised an eyebrow at his ward’s tone. No, not diffident at all. He hid a smile behind his goblet as he took another sip of wine before answering. "I know they do, yonya. I also know they came seeking answers. Those answers are still here to be found. I assure you that neither one voiced any objections to staying here. Had they done so, I would have given them leave to depart whenever they wished."

Sador nodded, obviously mollified, but did not attempt to apologize and Arafinwë had to hide another smile. His ward was finally growing up and he could see Findaráto’s influence there. "Beyond that," he continued, "I still would like to organize a royal visit to Tol Eressëa along with Olwë. I think it’s very important that we make our presence known to the elves living there."

Sador frowned. "You know well my objections to this plan, but I will admit my views of Tol Eressëa have been colored by my own experiences. If this is your desire, my lord, I will do what I can to help you to organize it. Lord Gilvagor would be a good liaison for this."

"As will you," Arafinwë said. "Your experiences notwithstanding, this is a perfect opportunity to put into practice what you have been learning as my son’s diplomatic aide, though, I admit, he has not been in a position lately to use you in that capacity."

Sador nodded. "Finrod told me something about becoming Lord Irmo and Lord Námo’s apprentice, though he did not go into details and I did not press for them. I told him that whenever he needed me, however he needed me, I would be there for him."

"I am glad, yonya," Arafinwë said with much feeling. "I am glad that you are my son’s trusted otorno. In the task he has pledged himself to he will need your love and support." He smiled slyly. "Now, why don’t we put aside all this talk of diplomacy and such and spend the rest of the afternoon until dinner in more enjoyable pursuits. You still owe me a game of chess. I mean to beat you this time."

Sador gave him a saucy grin. "Hah! That’s what you said the last time, Atar."

Then they both laughed as they left the study in search of a chessboard.