PART FIVE: Delayed

"Merry! You must come at once!" Merimas Brandybuck hadn't bothered with knocking on the door at Crickhollow, so urgent was his news. Merry and Pippin came out into the hallway and both spoke up at the same time.

“Merimas-“ Merry said.

“What?" Pippin asked.

Merimas lifted his hands and they both stopped speaking. “I really am sorry Merry, but there’s been an accident. Your mum-“

That was all Merry heard before darkness swept upon him as if all the candles had been snuffed at once and the sun hidden by the darkest of clouds. He slumped against the wall. Mum? An accident? The chill crept up his arm and he felt his mind go blank and his body starting to descend into a black void of despair and hopelessness, his legs giving away under him...

“Merry!” A set, no, two sets of strong hands kept hold of him and Merry felt as if from far away someone looked at him from above. He opened his eyes and found one blue and one green set of eyes equally worried looking at him. “I…what happened?”

“I think you fainted,” Pippin said, taking Merry’s hands in his and helping him to his feet.

“Fainted?” Merry still felt in a daze and only shook his head. He let Pippin and Merimas help him up and sitting him down on a chair. Soon after a hot mug was placed in his hands but Merry only felt this and the voices following the actions as if they were far, far away and completely out of his reach. There was something about his mum and an accident but he couldn’t quite grasp what it was.

“Merry?” Pippin’s voice seemed to grow stronger and Merry blinked. "There you are!" Pippin beamed at Merry, full of a cheerfulness Merry was positive Pippin didn’t feel if Merry just had fainted. “Come back now, Merry. It’s all right.”

“Mum!” Merry said, hoping to sound like his usual level-headed self but his voice sounded strange. He took a deep breath and found that his chest was tight and that the breath he let out was shallow. There was a problem with his mum and if there was anything he could do to help, he would do so. “What happened? There was an accident you said.” Merry looked at the cousin who looked so much like himself and saw his own lines of worry mirrored in the other hobbit's face. Merimas, Berilac and Merry were by some trick of nature so alike in looks that many who didn't know them and their parents took them for brothers.

 “It's the shock," Pippin explained softly to Merimas.

“He ought to see the healer,” Merimas whispered back and Pippin nodded. “We’ll see about that after we’ve seen Aunt Esmie.”

 Merry took a sip of his tea. “Merimas, what is this urgent news you come with? What’s wrong with Mum?”

“I really am sorry Merry,” Merimas said once more. “There was an accident this morning and Uncle Sara asked that I went to get you at once. Aunt Esmie fell down the stairs to the cellar and broke her leg, and-"

“And what?” Merry was fully focused on Merimas now.

“Well... she's not as young as she used to you know, and her heart almost gave out from the fall."

Before darkness even could start attacking Merry anew, Pippin rose and said in an efficient voice. “We can't sit here! Let's go." The urgency in his voice made Merry rise to his own feet.

*****

Merry had never thought the ride between Crickhollow and Brandy Hall could take so long. It felt like an eternity before they could jump of the ponies, hand them to a stable lad and hurry inside.

Once inside the Master’s quarters Merimac met them and enveloped Merry and Pippin both in a quick embrace before leading them to the master bedroom. “She’s asleep now, but I’m sure she will be happy to see you at her side when she wakes up again.”

“Where is Da?”

“We’ve sent him to your old room to rest a bit. I have been sitting with her for the past hours.”

“Thank you, Uncle Mac,” Merry managed to say despite the enormous lump in his throat, and reached for the doorknob.

“Are you sure you can manage this?” Pippin said, walking around to stand in front of Merry and firmly laying his hands on his cousin’s shoulders as if Merry was about to fall.

Merry was torn in two, and he could see Pippin was torn too. As much as he wanted to go see Frodo, he just couldn’t. Not now. “I have to, Pip. There’s no other place I want to be just now. Would you write Frodo and say we’re delayed?”

“I will, but let us first see to Aunt Esmie.”

Merry had tried to mentally prepare himself for seeing his active mum bedridden but realised that he was not at all prepared when he opened the door and saw here lying pale and still in the large bed. The constantly busy hands were lying on each side of her, and her green eyes were closed. Uncle Mac had said she was sleeping, but to Merry she looked more like she was in a state beyond his reached and he choked back a sob. Her beautiful grey curls lay spread around her head on the pillow and there was no warm smile to meet him when he sat down in the chair beside the bed. “Mum? It’s me, Merry. I’m here now. Please-” Tears welled up in his eyes and fell down his face but he paid no attention to them. “Please Mum, come back to me.”

Beside him Pippin gasped and tried to keep his own tears under control. His beloved Auntie should not lie still and hurt like this. What if her heart was damaged by the fall and couldn’t be mended? A broken leg could for the most part be mended, but a heart was an entirely different matter. Placing one hand on Merry’s bowed shoulders and squeezing tightly for a moment, Pippin reached over and gently brushed the hair away from his Aunt’s face.

They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Food was brought in but Merry headed it not, his eyes were focused on the still figure in the bed. Pippin tried to coax him to eat something or at least take some tea, but Merry only waved it away. For his own part Pippin managed to drink a bit of tea and choke down some toast, but he was beyond worried, and it wasn’t only his Aunt he had on his mind.

“Lads?” Saradoc came into the room and both Merry and Pippin rose stiffly from their chairs after sitting still so long. “How is she?”

“There’s no change. She’s still sleeping. Oh, Da! Do you think she will be all right? What has the healer said?” Merry asked desperately.

“She will be all right my lad. She just needs to rest now. He gave her some sedative so that she would rest without pain. I was told she will be wake before tomorrow.” Saradoc looked at Merry until he was sure the message had come through and patted him on the shoulder.

“How are you holding up, Uncle?” Pippin asked. He could see that his uncle was beyond worried and he looked tired and more worn than Pippin ever had seen him.

“I’ll be all right, Pippin/-lad. Thank you for asking.”

“Good. I’ll go write that letter to Frodo now then, Merry.”

“Thanks, Pip. Will you come back here when you’re finished?”

“Of course.” Pippin didn’t say that he hadn’t dared to leave Merry alone with his injured mother but now Saradoc was there and Pippin could take the opportunity to write to Frodo. Merry was almost as pale as his mother and he rubbed at his hand constantly, his eyes growing more and more distant as long as no one needed his attention. Pippin was certain Merry didn’t even realise what he was doing. “I’ll see about getting something to eat too. You’ve had nothing since breakfast Merry.”

“I’m not hungry, Pip. You get something for yourself and Da, but I don’t want anything.”

“Merry-lad, I know this is hard for you too, but you’ve got to eat. You need to stay strong for your mother. She and I too, need you!” Saradoc said.

“I really am sorry, Da, but I am not hungry. I will try to eat something, though, if that is what you want.” Merry said, hearing himself that he sounded meek and not at all like his usual determined self.

Saradoc tried to not show how shocked he was of Merry saying something like that and instead he said. “There’s a good lad. You’re just tired.” He turned to Pippin again. “See if they have some blackberry pie in the kitchen Pippin. Maybe the scent of that will make Merry hungry again.”

Pippin nodded and left Merry and Saradoc to watch over Esmie.

*****

It was not long after that Esmeralda stirred a little and moaned in her sleep but didn’t wake. Merry tried to focus on keeping the Darkness at bay. His arm hurt and he was feeling the dark creeping in around him. Wearily he put his head down beside Esmie’s hand and watched her chest rise and fall in sleep. He reminded himself that she at least was alive and that she was resting, which was good for her. He hadn’t thought much about his parents’ age lately, but he had seen the change the Troubles had done with them after he, Frodo, Pippin and Sam came home again. Both his parents’ hair was greyer than he could remember and they had several more worry/lines streaking their faces than they had had before he left. What if his beloved mum died from this? What if her heart couldn’t stand the strain from the fall?

A dark fog crept inwards from the edges of his consciousness and numbed Merry’s logical thinking and connection to reality. He gasped at the extreme cold that followed the fog and opened his eyes to a vast barren landscape. There was something or someone he had to find, and the urgency made him start walking. There were no tracks to be seen and when he turned all Merry could see was his own footsteps in the dust and sand.

*****

Esmeralda moved her head slightly on the bed and blinked a few times before her eyes settled on her husband. “Sara?”

“Yes, my dear. I am here.” Saradoc reached over and took the hand closest to him in his own. “How are you feeling?”

“My leg hurts.”

“Yes, it was broken. You fell down the stairs to the cellar, do you remember?”

“No. What happened?”

“Cook said you slipped on the steps and fell down. I think you were going down there too get another bag of flour.”

“Yes, that is right. We were baking sun-buns* for the children’s tea. But,” she took a deep breath and coughed. “There is something else wrong, isn’t there? I feel so weak and my chest hurts.”

Saradoc sighed. “Yes, I am afraid your heart went to a lot of strain because of your fall, and… it almost gave out my love.” He buried his head in his hands and cried.

“Sush my dear, I am all right. Don’t worry.” Esmie looked around the room as she comforted her husband. It was only now that she saw Merry’s head resting beside her on the bed. With her free hand she started to comb trhough his curls, thinking that he probably had fallen asleep. “My poor lads. I gave you both a fright this day, didn’t I?”

Saradoc nodded into her shoulder, but from Merry there was no reaction at all.

---------------------

A/N: Sun-buns are rather flat, round wheat buns with raisins and egg cream in the middle of the bun, almost like a sun. It’s a very popular bun with children and is mostly known as a “school bun” in Norway. The English name for them are coconut cream rolls (at least in the English version of the Norwegian cookbook I have access to).