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Don't Panic!  by Boz4PM

Chapter 12 - “All Hell Breaks Loose”


Bloody hell!

She knew it would get a reaction but it was actually pretty scary seeing six very powerful individuals go off on one all at the same time. She wondered if provoking five warriors (and she suspected Erestor could probably hold his own in a fight as well if push came to shove so it was near enough six warriors to all intents and purposes), one of them a Maia, was SUCH a good idea. Looking at the expressions on their faces, quite possibly not.

Elrond was exploding.

It had never occurred to her that elves could get red in the face, but he was puce, his ears near glowing. He was ranting at Halbarad and Gandalf, but mainly Halbarad. Halbarad was giving as good back, though. Both were gesticulating in her direction. No doubt she was a threat and a danger and Halbarad was being blamed for bringing her here.

“But we could not have known she had such knowledge, Elrond!” Aragorn weighed in now. “Nor did either you or Gandalf sense anything from her that would indicate she was a danger. Now that we know what she knows we can decide what to do, but we must be reasonable: it is hardly Halbarad’s fault! He HAD to bring her with him. He could not have known!”

“Then YOU explain how else she could know such things and not be a threat!” Erestor rounded on him. “Her knowledge is disturbingly accurate and indeed she knows things she CAN NOT know!” Glorfindel was backing him up.

Gandalf was on the point of really losing his temper as Elrond told him, for the fourth time and at the top of his voice, that it was entirely his fault their questioning of her was delayed and it should have been done before the Council was held.

Penny was curled up in her chair, her breath quickening, realising this was all entirely her doing. She was most upset by the amount of flak that Halbarad was getting in all of this. Poor man. He didn’t deserve the way she had treated him let alone getting the blame for the situation she was in.

She was struggling to keep in the tears as the voices got louder and louder. For a moment she was entirely forgotten. Elrond was snarling at Halbarad again who was jabbing his finger back towards him and then towards Penny.

“WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!”

Stunned silence.

She had not realised quite how loud that was going to come out. She felt a moment of pure, unadulterated fear. She’d just screamed at six of the most important and powerful people in all Middle Earth and they were more than capable, any one of them, of snuffing her out in an instant.

Elrond’s head snapped round to her, his anger clear upon his face.

She was standing, coming swiftly towards him, her cheeks wet.

“Goheno nin, hir nin. Goheno nin, Elrond,” she said earnestly, desperately. She knew that what she was now doing and about to do was probably rude, presumptuous and incredibly stupid, but she was too distressed to care at this point.

She came straight up to him, standing between him and Halbarad. “Do NOT blame Halbarad!” She gestured to him as he stood behind her. “He treated me well and with patience when I was behaving like a complete madwoman. This is not his fault. Believe me, I did not say any of this to anger you. I said to to show you I cannot know what I have just told you. How can I know it?”

She glanced at Gandalf, “Please tell me you understand what I am saying. There is no WAY I could know it. I read it. I read it in a book. This entire story. All of you in a book. THAT is how I know.” She was gesturing to them all now, her tears falling fast while she desperately tried to make them understand. “I know about the Ring! I know about the Council! I know what was said and what was decided!”

She turned away from them now, walking back to her chair, almost talking to herself as she sobbed. “I don’t know how I got here! I don’t know why I am here! I don’t WANT to be here!” She could feel her knees buckling as the full weight of the reality hit her and she sank to the floor in front of her. “I don’t belong here. I.. I..” She sobbed, “I just want to go home!”

An uneasy and unspoken truce was reached by the questioners who, one by one, returned to their seats as they, quiet, confused and deeply suspicious, watched her weep on the floor.

“She does not want us to blame each other,” Gandalf said quietly. “It is no-one’s fault that she is here. She is lost. She was saying that she told us all that she did just now not to disturb us, even though she knew that that would be its effect, but rather to show, to try and prove, that what she was telling us about this book is true: for how else could she know such things? She...” He hesitated. “She just wants to go home. That feeling is very strong in her right now. Overwhelmingly so. That is why she weeps. Our anger distressed her greatly also.”

Aragorn, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together in front of his mouth, exchanged a glance with Halbarad.

“Yes, but where IS home?” he said softly.

“A good question, my friend,” murmured Gandalf.

Elrond, breathing hard, was struggling to control his fury still and said nothing. It was rare he lost his temper and he knew, as much for the others as himself, it was due to their frustration at not understanding her, the communication barrier, and the fact that she threw up more questions than she answered. He realised, however, that it was probably just as frustrating for her and very distressing too. That was obvious.

“Where is home?” Gandalf asked her.

Again he did so while projecting the question into her head. She heard him. She looked at him and the utter despair in her face made them gasp.

“Here. Arda.”

Gandalf shook his head. That made no sense at all. He asked her again.

And got the same answer.

The others realised what she was saying.

“What is its name, the country where you live?”

She smiled sadly, “England.”

Erestor got up and started scanning Elrond’s bookshelves for a book of maps. She followed his movement with her gaze, realising what he was doing. She laughed ruefully. She looked at Elrond’s raised eyebrow, his jaw still firm and hard.

“He won’t find it. It won’t be there,” she said.

Erestor heard Gandalf’s explanation of what she said but he continued searching regardless. She was right, though: he did not find it.

“How did you get here? Get to where Halbarad found you?”

She shrugged. She explained and mimed that she slept and woke up to find herself there.

Gasps of astonishment from them all then as Gandalf explained her answer.

Halbarad whispered, “That was why she was embarrassed that I had shown you her clothes. They were her sleeping garments.”

“And it explains why she was barefoot,” added Gandalf.

“But who would do such a thing to her?! And why?!” Aragorn was suddenly angry, as were they all as the thought hit them, though he was the first to voice it.

“They are worrying for you,” Gandalf said to Penny, smiling kindly at her. “Who did this to you?”

Penny also smiled a little to know they were angry on her behalf, more touched than she could say though both Elrond and Gandalf felt it from her and told the others, but in reply she shrugged and shook her head and burst into tears once more. It was clear she did not know.

Halbarad, watching all of this, though they were no nearer to answers, was finding much of her previous behaviour towards him was now explained. He was pale with fury at the idea that someone had done that to her: dumped her miles from home, in the wet without suitable clothing, and with wolves, Nazgûl and Eru knew what else abroad. If he ever found them he would tear them to pieces. Looking at the expressions of those round him he knew he was not alone in thinking this either.

“What is it about her that is familiar?” Gandalf was regarding her closely as he murmured to himself. “She has an age to her, and yet she is no age at all.”

Elrond looked at him. Gandalf knew Elrond had sensed something odd from her also.

He turned to Penny, projecting his question to her as he spoke, “Explain to us, where is this place that is in Arda but on no map we possess?”

She looked at him sadly once more and shook her head. She tapped her temple again.

“Try, Pen-ii. Tell us. It cannot be any more strange than anything else you have told us so far.”

He did not project this to her but she understood he was asking her to continue irrespective of how insane it would sound.

And it was going to sound bloody insane. That was for sure.

She sighed, dried her eyes and considered for a moment. She shook her head, looked at them all to check they were watching her and began.

The floor was tiled. She dragged a finger along a line between the tiles on the floor that ran in front of her from right to left. She looked up at them, saw nods, and continued.

She pointed to the far right of the line. She mimed singing and said, “Eru, Valar, Maia.” She moved her finger along a bit. “Eldar.” She mimed yawning and stretching. “Eldar to Valinor.” She looked up to check they were following. They were. She ran her finger along the line some way and said, “The Silmarillion.”

All six exchanged a glance and Gandalf interrupted her. “You know The Silmarillion?”

She nodded. They were astonished. Even more so when she added, “And the Valaquenta.”

She continued, dragging her finger once more over that section of the line, saying, “Morgoth, Feanor, Silmarils, Turin, Tuor, Beren.” She lowered her hand to indicate falling, “Nargothrond, Doriath, Gondolin.”

She glanced up to Glorfindel who nodded, his face grim suddenly.

She pointed at the line. “Elros and Elrond.” She looked at Elrond as she said his name.

She moved her finger along, “Eriador. Celebrimbor. Rings.” She indicated this with the fingers of one hand round a finger of the other once more. She held up the relevant number of fingers each time as she said, “Seven for the dwarves. Nine for the edain.”

She paused. “Three for the Eldar.” She glanced at Gandalf. “Narya, Vilya and Nenya.”

His eyebrows shot up and he silently projected to her.

/Do you know who wears them? All three/

She nodded.

Gandalf spoke silently, projecting what he had just learnt to Elrond whose jaw stiffened. Penny continued.

“Sauron made the One.”

She looked at them. Yup, they were following her. Good.

“Numenor. Sauron. Pharazon.” Again the falling hand, “Numenor.” She made a quick horizontal movement to indicate ‘gone’. Her finger moved further on the line.

“Elendil. Gondor and Arnor. Battle of the Last Alliance. Isildur. Ring from Sauron.” Again the cutting motion and the ring sign.

She hesitated. She drew her finger along so it was now right in front of her, exactly in the middle of the line. “Now,” she said. “Here, today.” She pointed at the floor. Then she pointed at all of them.

She looked at Gandalf. He nodded, smiling.

“We understand. Continue,” he said.

She hesitated once more. They could see fear flash across her face. She took a breath.

Then they watched in astonishment and increasing disbelief as she dragged her finger along the line, past the time of ‘now’ till it was at the far end of the left side of the line.

She looked up at them, keeping her finger there while she pointed to herself.

“Me. England.”

She pointed at the middle point once more, at all of them, and made the book sign. Then at the left end point again, at herself, and then she ‘read’ her open palms as if reading a book.

“She is insane,” Elrond murmured.

Halbarad could hardly breathe. Aragorn’s eyes were narrowed in thought and his brow furrowed in disbelief. Erestor and Glorfindel could not accept that they had understood her correctly. Only Gandalf, as ever, though his eyebrows were arched in confusion and surprise, allowed himself a smile.

“Now it becomes clear. This is why she feels so distant to me in time. This is why she reminds me of those from long ages past and yet it was utterly dissimilar at the same time.”

The others stared at him.

“You cannot be serious, Mithrandir,” Glorfindel spluttered. “You believe this nonsense?!”

Gandalf looked at him, his eyes flashing slightly, “Have you an alternative explanation for how she knows what she knows, Glorfindel? If so, please share it with us. I, for one, would be most interested to hear it. What she has just told us fits. It fits absolutely with what we know of her and her erratic behaviour. She has read stories, myths from long ago that are so lost in the mists of time that no one believes they ever existed or occurred. Somehow she is here, with us now, in the middle of something she considered an absolute fabrication.”

He turned to Halbarad now. “You understand her mistrust and fear now? She was trying to find any explanation for it all other than the truth. The truth would be too much for her to understand. This poor woman has probably thought she was going mad, possibly still thinks it. This is why she has heard of the Eldar and Periannath and yet acted so extremely when she saw them in the flesh. This explains her laughter at the Nazgûl. She hurt herself, Halbarad, I suspect, to see if it is was real. To see if she was hallucinating or dreaming. She could not dream such pain or such injuries. She could not dream of one of the Eldar when she saw them. She could not deny the reality of what she was surrounded by, then, and yet to her it was all a story. Can you not see how this fits?”

Halbarad nodded. It did indeed. It was too strange to contemplate, though.

“But how..? How did she get here?” he asked, his voice indicating his incredulity.

“We have asked her that already and she says she does not know and I for one believe her. Eru moves in strange ways and fate decrees we know not what at times. Were not Beren and Luthien sent back from death? Much that may seem strange to some has in fact occurred.”

Elrond was shaking his head. He was not convinced. “It is too outlandish, Mithrandir. I cannot believe this.”

Penny saw him and heard his tone of voice. She looked at Gandalf and pointed at Elrond. “He does not believe me?”

Gandalf shook his head. Penny looked at Elrond, then Gandalf.

“Tell him I know what happened yesterday. The Council. The meeting between you all. You, Elrond, Gloin, the Eldar from Thranduil, Boromir, Aragorn. I know.”

Their eyes were wide once more. Having heard the names she had listed she could only be talking about one thing.

“What was that?” asked Elrond, looking at Gandalf sharply. “Was this about the Council?”

Gandalf nodded. “She says she knows what occurred.”

“Impossible!” Elrond stared at her.

So, she told them.

Gandalf translated the sense of what he could understand from her: Gloin telling of the Nazgul visiting Erebor; Legolas telling of Smeagol’s escape; Boromir and the dream; she told them that Aragorn had related his tale of Gollum’s capture; that Bilbo had told them of how he got the Ring. She spoke of Saruman’s treachery and even told them of the journey of the hobbits from the Shire including their meeting with Tom Bombadil. They were astounded and, as she talked, finally convinced.

Elrond still wavered, though. She was saying to him, “You chose nine.” She held up her fingers. “Eight others to go with Maura and the One.” Elrond checked he had understood with Gandalf and then nodded.

There was a beat. Penny counted them off on her fingers and they all gasped as she did so.

“Maura, Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, Ban, Mithrandir..”

She was thankful she had remembered Sam’s real name. She stopped. They could see she knew more. She hesitated over the two remaining fingers. She smiled sadly and looked at Gandalf.

“He has not chosen them yet, but I know who they will be.”

Gandalf smiled, nodded, and translated. Elrond was speechless. Halbarad glanced at Aragorn and spoke to him directly.

“That is why she reacted as she did at breakfast yesterday,” he said quietly. “It was Boromir who nearly ran into her at the door.” He looked at Gandalf. “How did she know it was Boromir?”

Gandalf asked her and she smiled. She pointed at her hip and made a sign as if she held something to her lips to blow.

“The horn of Gondor,” Gandalf grinned. “Of course.”

She sat down once again. She watched them all as they took all this in. She could feel the tears rising once more, but as much from relief now as distress. She was still frightened, but at least they all knew now. At least she had been able to explain. Even if she didn’t understand herself what was going on. She looked at Halbarad who was regarding her with a soft, sad smile.

“Goheno nin, Halbarad. I behaved very badly, I know. But this life... Here... it is very different. I thought...” She laughed softly, “I thought you were tricking me. Playing a game. I thought you were pretending to be Halbarad, not the real Halbarad.”

Halbarad threw a questioning glance to Gandalf.

“She is apologising. She knows now she did not behave well with you. But she did not understand what was happening. She thought someone was playing a joke with her. That is why she was so angry with you.”

Halbarad nodded, turning to her smiling, as he said something to Gandalf. She heard Gandalf’s voice in her head.

/He understands. It is in the past/

“Le hannon, Halbarad,” she said quietly, smiling at him a little shyly.

Elrond spoke quietly. “So she knows of us and our deeds. It is most strange. She knows, then, of how this will turn out and what will come of it all.”

All six looked at her, suddenly, as that realisation hit them.

She could see they were looking at her with a mixture of awe and astonishment. She furrowed her brows and looked at Gandalf.

“You know what will happen, do you not?” he asked her.

She gasped and looked down suddenly, nodding. ‘No. I won’t think about it. They can’t ask me. I won’t tell them. I can’t. I can’t. It’s...’

“Yes, I do, Mithrandir,” she said quietly, looking despairingly at him. “But I don’t think I should say anything about it. To do so, to warn of the evil or relay the good that will occur might change what decisions are taken, it could affect everything. It is not my place to do that, and I wouldn’t feel right doing it. Though...” she hesitated, “I want to desperately.”

A silent tear rolled down her cheek and she looked at her lap.

“I know things I wish I didn’t know, Gandalf. People will fall. And I know who they are.” She looked up at him, “I will not willing say anything of what is going to happen. But if you think I should I will. You and you alone, Mithrandir. If you wish to know, even if just for yourself I will tell you. You can then decide if you wish to tell anyone else or not. It is up to you.”

Gandalf nodded. He understood her well enough. He turned to the others.

“She does indeed know. And it is a great burden to her. But she does not wish to change or alter any decision, even if she would be warning us against evils that will occur.”

He held up his hand to stop the gasps and quiet protests.

“Now, now, I have to say she is right. I agree. It may be... It may be we will succeed. However small a hope we may have of it. By warning us and saving us from one evil on the way to the victory, a chain of events could be set in motion that could prevent that victory from coming to pass. I will not ask her. Nor would I have any of you ask. Further I insist that this fact, that she knows of us and of our futures, must be kept amongst ourselves and not made known to any others it may affect, and I include those accompanying Maura to Mordor in this. No good could come of such a thing were it known, of that I am certain.”

While he had been speaking Penny had stood and gone to look out into the garden. She had not wanted to think about it, but talking to Gandalf, and knowing he was possibly telling them what she had said, meant she could not fight it any longer. He would die. Admittedly to be reborn, but the Fellowship would lose him. Boromir. She sobbed. Boromir! Brave Boromir. His attack on Frodo and his valiant death. And not just Boromir, either: Theoden, Hama, ...

Her breath caught in her throat suddenly, her heart thumping hard against her chest.

Halbarad! Dear God. Halbarad died at Pelennor Fields, didn’t he?

She was wracking her brains, trying to remember. She didn’t hear someone call her name so absorbed was she in her spinning thoughts. Knowing who they were was one thing, but this... knowing who would die was worse. Ten times worse. A million times worse and especially now she had met them. Boromir only for a moment, admittedly, but Halbarad...!

She clutched the doorframe, desperately trying to keep herself under control. She was choking back sobs, trying to steady her breathing.

A voice came behind her, saying her name gently. She turned, the tears streaming down her face. She smiled, forced herself to, and then threw her arms about Halbarad’s neck and wept.

He, somewhat startled, held her gently, glancing over his shoulder to the others with a bemused expression on his face. Eventually she calmed and he brought her back to her seat. Elrond was looking at her more kindly than he had for the entire morning.

“Well, my dear, it would seem, however strange, we have our answer,” he said to her. “I have to say I find it difficult to accept, but I have little choice given the extent of knowledge you have of things you could not possibly know otherwise. Now we must decide what we are to do with you.” Penny was smiling politely but looked to Gandalf to explain.

/He accepts your story, though it is strange. What do we do with you now?/

She nodded. What would they do with her now?

Of course, if this was a Mary Sue, she’d head off with the Fellowship, bonking Leggy and saving Boz. She giggled. There were raised eyebrows then. She apologised.

“I am still getting used to being here. With you all. It is both an honour and very strange for me.”

Gandalf nodded, grinning, and explained to the others who smiled. She realised that, once Gandalf left, she would be in difficulties once more.

“I would like to learn Sindarin,” she said suddenly.

Gandalf was pleased. Elrond clearly guessed what she had said and smiled. He asked her, Gandalf projecting, what she knew of the language already. She looked a little sheepish and listed everything she could remember which wasn’t much.

“Mostly names and place-names.” Gandalf nodded and explained her words.

Then she said anything she could remember: ‘farewell’, ‘well met’, ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘forgive me’, ‘do not speak’, ‘down!’, ‘my lord’, ‘my lady’, ‘husband’, ‘wife’, ‘elf’, ‘female elf’, ‘man’, ‘hobbit’. She was struggling then.

There were one or two other things she COULD remember but she wasn’t going to say them. Not here. Not in all male company. Even in mixed company. For her to have come six thousand years and then admit she knew ‘my love’, ‘my lover’, ‘I love you’, ‘your place or mine’ and ‘take your clothes off and get on the bed’ would be... amusing for them? Embarrassing? Alarming? All three? It was a sad indication of the kind of fics she enjoyed too if that was nearly half the Sindarin she could come up with! She blushed.

The six exchanged a look as they saw her open her mouth as if to say more Sindarin, close it rapidly and then colour vividly but say nothing. Glorfindel and Halbarad smirked knowingly at each other and Aragorn, catching their look, grinned.

Elrond was asking if she could read and write. She nodded, but then added, “But not Tengwar.”

He nodded and stood, moving to his desk and beckoning her to follow him. He presented her with a quill and parchment. She looked aghast.

“I will break it,” she said, turning to Gandalf. “We don’t use such things to write with anymore.” Gandalf chuckled and indicated for her to try nonetheless. She struggled, scratching terribly, leaning over Elrond’s desk as he watched her.

“Do you not have anything else?” she muttered, exasperated and throwing the quill to the desktop.

Elrond smiled and reached in a drawer for a box. He pulled off the lid and presented her with a box of charcoal.

She smiled. Much better. She wrote her own name. They watched, fascinated, as she wrote in this completely alien alphabet. She then wrote each of their names, spelling out each one and reading them for them once she was done. All six were crowded round the desk now, amazed.

Well, she could write. This was a start. Erestor was poring over what she had written, utterly absorbed in it. Elrond looked at him.

“Erestor? I want you to organise lessons for her. This afternoon and then every day.”

“Certainly, my lord,” he nodded. “I shall arrange it immediately.” With a bow he left.

Penny still felt a little uneasy with them, but the atmosphere had changed. In the process of all this she had had to come to terms with what had happened to her, like it or not, insane or not. No looking back now.

She caught Halbarad’s eye and he grinned at her. Well, at least they don’t think I’m mad anymore. Well, no more than anyone usually does, at any rate.

Gandalf explained Elrond had asked for lessons to be organised for her and that she would stay in Rivendell for the time being. She turned to Elrond and bowed, smiling gratefully. Gandalf told them she was both moved and honoured to be allowed to stay in such a place and among such people. She was eternally in his debt.

Given the amount she’d angered and upset them that day she was now doing some spectacular crawling. They had to give her that.


Author's Note:

‘/’and italics indicate silent speech projection to Penny from Gandalf. At all other times he speaks out loud as well as projecting. When the need for secrecy or privacy is paramount, though, he does not speak, only projects his thoughts/words into her head.

For anyone who is remotely interested I am reliably informed that the Sindarin for 'Your place or mine?' is "Bar lîn egor nîn?" and 'Take off your clothes and get on the bed!' is "Heltho a caitho erin i haust!" Well... you never know when it might come in useful, do you? ;)





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