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At the End of His Rope  by Lindelea

Chapter 36. Out of Rope

'Curse that Samwise and his promises,' Pippin said fretfully. Merry looked up, startled. He had never heard his cousin use such language towards anything but nuisances such as midges, flat beer, and orcs. 'Whyever did he make me part of his greeting committee?' His voice trailed off in a cough, and he weakly hugged his ribs as the knifelike pain assailed him with fresh vigour.

Merry lifted him, held a cup of water to his lips, urged him to sip, but he turned his face away.

'I'm tired, Merry,' he said. 'I'm out of rope.'

'Tie a knot and hang on,' Merry whispered.

'I did, but I've been holding on so long it's unraveled and I can't seem to take hold again,' Pippin murmured. 'I'm tired, Merry. Let me go. Please, let me go.'

'I'm not ready,' Merry said, heart wrung with fear and pity. 'Hold on just a bit longer, Pip. Don't leave me.'

'I'll try,' Pippin said, and closed his eyes again.

There was a soft knock, and Reginard came in, a paper in his hand. 'Pony post just came in for you,' he said. 'The steward...' He looked down at the Thain, who was apparently asleep.

Merry was puzzled. Reginard was steward in Tookland, what was he talking about?

'Your steward,' Reginard said, 'Sorry, I'm that short on sleep I'm not making sense. There's been an accident at the Hall.'

'What's happened to Berilac?' Merry said, reaching for the paper.

He read the hastily scrawled note and rose abruptly from the bed.

'What is it?' Regi asked quietly.

'A toddler wandered into a bull pen while his mother's back was turned, Berilac jumped in to save him from the bull, threw the toddler to safety but couldn't get out in time himself*,' Merry said. 'They don't know yet if he'll live.' He closed his eyes, sick. Was he to lose two cousins at once, then?

Regi put a hand on his arm. 'I'll get a pony ready for you.'

Merry took hold of himself with a deep breath, opened his eyes and nodded. 'Right. I'll be back just as soon as I can.' The steward nodded and left the room.

Merry bent again to the bed. 'Pippin?'

The eyes opened. 'I heard,' he said. 'Give my best to Berilac.'

'Hold on, Pippin,' Merry said. 'I'll be back soon. And Samwise is coming, the last message said he was leaving Gondor at the end of March and here it is nearly the end of May already.'

'Probably stopped off somewhere to plant some trees,' Pippin said.

Merry took his hand. 'Wait for me,' he said. 'I'll be back.'

Pippin looked away. 'So now you want to put me on your greeting committee.' Merry squeezed the hand gently, and Pippin looked back at him. 'O all right. I'll try. It's all I can promise.'

Outside in the corridor, Merry saw Regi's haunted face. The steward shook his head. 'I've hung on to him so hard, for so long,' he said, 'but I'm ready to let him go now.' He swallowed hard. 'The price he's paying is too high.'

Merry put a hand on his shoulder in wordless misery.

The steward got hold of himself and looked up again. 'If you come back in time for the pony races next week, you can see me in as Thain. We'll probably have the memorial at the same time.'

'I plan to be back well before next week. As early as tomorrow, I hope,' Merry said. 'Berilac's tougher than any bull, he might not be as bad as the first report says.' He gripped the steward's shoulder tightly. 'He's not buried yet,' Merry said. 'Don't give up, Reg.'

The steward shook his head. 'I've no hope left, Merry. It's all used up. Samwise, if he ever does come, will be too late. I cannot bear to watch this any longer. It'll be a relief to see him off.'

Merry looked in on Diamond as he was leaving to go back to Brandy Hall. She and Faramir were with Healer Woodruff, who was shaking her head sadly. 'I cannot give him anything for the pain, Mistress. He gets little enough breath as it is.'

'Is there nothing to be done?' Diamond asked. Faramir stood silent and sober beside her, his eyes much too old for a mischievous young boy.

'We're making him as comfortable as we can. There's not much time left.'

Diamond looked up to see Merry.

'I'll be back just as soon as I can,' he promised. She nodded, putting her handkerchief to her face. He gave her a gentle hug, patted Farry's back, and slipped out the door.

The solitary ride back to Buckland was refreshing; he was free to weep and rail in his frustration, with no ears to hear but his pony's. He elected not to stop overnight at the Crowing Cockerel, half-way between Tuckborough and Stock, but rode straight through, making the usual two-day journey in one very long effort. He hoped that Berilac's injuries were less than reported; he'd ride back to Pippin's side as quickly as he could, and hope that Pippin didn't slip away in the meantime. He had to be there... he had to...

He arrived at the Ferry to see a crowd on the other bank. How had they known when to expect him? As the Ferry approached the Brandy Hall landing, he saw the young Gamgees, all crowding about three cloaked figures holding dusty ponies. Hardly daring to believe his eyes, he called, 'Samwise?' and one of the figures turned to grin at him.

He jumped from the Ferry to race to Sam, pounding him on the back. 'You don't know how glad I am to see you!' he cried.

'Why, Merry, I didn't know you missed us so,' Sam laughed.

Merry shook his head urgently. 'Pippin's sinking fast,' he said. 'You might already be too late.'

Sam stared in shock. 'The last message we got said he was holding his own, even better than that.'

'He took a turn for the worse, went downhill suddenly. Nothing worked. The Tooks have given up hope,' Merry said. 'Did you get something from Strider?'

'Not quite,' Sam said cryptically. 'Let's get going, right away.' He saw Merry hesitate. 'What?'

'Berilac,' Merry began, but Estella intercepted him.

'He took a bad blow to the head,' she said. 'At first the healers thought... but his head is harder than it looks, apparently.'

'I could have told them that,' Merry said.

'He's got broken legs and a broken arm and bruises head to toe,' Estella said bluntly, 'but he's going to live. That's more than you can say for the bull, Merimas had him slaughtered. So go back to Pippin. He needs you more than Berilac at the moment.'

'I'm coming too,' said Rose, and Merry turned to see she was looking hale and hearty, little Tolman carried before her in a kind of pack.

'Wouldn't you like to rest, come along with the rest of us in the coaches?' Estella asked.

'I've ridden the length of Middle-earth and back again, horse-back and pony-back, and the saddle has grown as cosy to me as my rocking chair back home,' Rose said stoutly. 'Maybe more.' She looked down at the babe in his carrier. 'Let me just get this lad a change of nappie and myself a drink of water and we'll be off.' She considered. 'On second thought, let me just change him and we'll be off. I can drink in the saddle.' She thought to herself, if Pippin were that bad off, Sam was going to need her support, especially if things did not go well.

'Saddle three post ponies!' Merry shouted. A stable lad waved from the door of the stables and disappeared. Rose went into the Hall with Estella, coming out soon with a chortling Tolman, dry and happy and ready to go.

Stable lads came out with three fast ponies. Merry kissed Estella. 'We'll see you when you get to the Smials.'

She nodded. 'Hurry,' she said. 'We'll be along as quick as we can pack everyone up.' There was a chorus of goodbyes from the Gamgee children as Merry, Sam and Rose led the post ponies down to the waiting Ferry. As soon as they'd crossed the great River, they were off at a gallop, and the sound of Merry's silver horn drifted back to the Hall.

***

Author's Note: For the full story of Berilac and the bull, see "Seeing Red".





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