CHAPTER 15

The morning of the eighteenth, Frodo and Merry went into Hobbiton to engage the carters for the move. They decided two waggons would be enough; Frodo paid half the fee in advance. Merry would pay the other half upon delivery, if all was unbroken and accounted for. The carters would arrive bright and early on Trewsday the twentieth.

On Monday, Frodo was back to being nervous and jumpy; the only problem was, now Merry was getting to be the same way. Part of the problem was that they had finally finished nearly all the tasks that could be done until the carters arrived the next day.

After luncheon, Fatty and Folco went down to Bywater to pay a courtesy visit to Folco’s elderly aunt. Frodo had some final business to take care of in Hobbiton. Pippin spotted the letter to his lawyers among the papers he carried, and gave a shudder. Sam was spending the day at home in Bagshot Row, making his own final preparations.

Which left Merry and Pippin alone at Bag End.

It’s now or never, thought Pippin. His heart was pounding so hard he could hear it. If this did not work, if he yet somehow got left after all--he couldn’t bear it.

He found Merry in the kitchen, organizing the foodstuffs for the next few days. It was not a task that needed doing; it was busy-work. Pippin sat down and pulled himself together. He had to be calm.

“Merry?”

“Yes, Pip.” He didn’t turn around, but kept on with putting apples in a bowl.

“The way I see it, you have three choices: you can try to leave me;” Merry went still. “you can try to stop me, which means you don’t go either;” Merry stiffened. “or you can take me with you and Frodo when you go.”

Merry turned around in shock. “How long have you known?” he whispered.

“Ever since you were down at the Smials in spring, when Alyssum was born. I eavesdropped on you and Fatty.”

Merry dropped into the nearest chair. His face was white as paper, except for two bright red spots on his cheeks, and his eyes blazed. “You wicked wretch!”

Now Pippin was in shock. He had not expected Merry to be angry at him. Not annoyed, or irritated, or fussed or upset--this was real anger. Only three times before in his life had it happened: when he was eight and climbed so high in a tree he could not get down; when he was eleven, and got himself lost in the back tunnels at Brandy Hall for two days; and when he was twenty, and on a dare from a couple of his Banks cousins, had gotten so drunk he nearly died. This makes four, he thought miserably. “Merry?”

“You knew! All those months I was worried sick about leaving you, you knew!” Merry grabbed Pippin hard by both wrists. “You don’t have a clue as to what danger is involved here!”

Pippin wrenched his arms away. Now his own anger kindled. “You always think you know what’s best for me! You always try to protect me! It never occurs to you that I might like to make my own decisions once in a while! I love Frodo, too! You’re not the only person in the world who cares about him! And you were planning on leaving me without so much as a goodbye!”

“Well, obviously that would have been useless, since you knew exactly what was going on. Was it funny watching me suffer? Did you get a laugh out of all my sleepless nights? How do you think I felt, knowing I might never see you again? How could you do that to me?”

This was too much for Pippin. He burst into tears and threw himself at his cousin’s feet. “I’m sorry, Merry! Please, please forgive me--I can’t bear it if you’re angry! But I couldn’t take the chance you’d leave me. Life wouldn’t be worth living in the Shire if you and Frodo both left me!” Curled up on the floor, he sobbed so hard that his stomach hurt.

After several moments he felt Merry’s familiar hand upon his head.

“I’m sorry, Pip. I should not have been so angry. But I’ve been so desperately worried about leaving you.” He reached down and raised his cousin up for a quick embrace.

“”Yes. Well.” Pippin got back in his chair, wiping his face with a sleeve. “You don’t have to any more because you’re not.”

“Can we discuss that?”

“Of course we can. But the answer won’t change. No different than if Frodo tries to tell you that you’re not coming.”

“Yes. Well.” Merry shook his head. He knew that he planned to simply follow, if Frodo was adamant. He had to confess to himself that if that option were all he was left with, then it would be good to have Pippin at his side.

“You do know that this journey could be more dangerous than dragons? It‘s not the kind of adventure we used to talk about having.”

“I know about--the Ring--if that’s what you mean.” Pippin’s face was sober. “I know what it will mean if it stays here; I know that danger will follow after it when it goes.”

“I see. Well, I guess you’re in, though you may wish yourself out before it’s over.” Actually, they might all of them wish themselves out, but it was no longer an option.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Pippin’s grin was like sunshine after a storm.

“Don’t thank me now. Wait till we get safely back.” But Merry felt as though a great weight had been lifted from him. He had not known until it was gone how heavy that secret had been. Of course, he still had to convince Frodo, but somehow he thought it would be easier with Pip’s support.

xxxxx

When Fatty and Folco returned a short while later, they found the cousins in the kitchen happily baking scones for tea. Although the kitchen itself was fairly clean, the amount of flour in their hair and clothing bore mute witness to the fact that at some point they had become more than a little carried away.

Folco proudly showed them the truly hideous vase his aunt had given him for her birthday, and then went to put it away.

Fatty looked at Merry and Pippin, looking more carefree than he’d seen them in days. “Well, Pippin, you must have confessed.”

“Fatty!” Merry’s tone was reproachful.

“I’m sorry Merry, but he already knew.”

“Don’t be upset with Fatty, Merry,” put in Pippin. “He just confirmed it for me, and filled in the details. You should be pleased with him, he really did try to talk me out of it.”

Merry laughed. “Well, that’s that then. A Bolger trying to talk a Took out of something--rather like a rabbit trying to keep a bull from charging, I’d say.”